Starting 2024 with a word like Ace felt like a power move that scared and excited me.

The 2020s have been notorious far for being wild and completely unhinged in what they have brought us, and yet - perhaps that was why I needed to plant my feet firmly on the ground and claim a word that I had already been secretly honing in on.

During the past six months, Ace has taught me…

Ask the Questions

If something doesn’t pass the smell test, you are right 99.9% of the time. Don’t question your concerns after seeing the proof.

Make Your Move

You move how you need to move for yourself and those you advocate for.

Stay Patient

While waiting for things to play out, stay quiet (only after you have made your move), humble, and patient.

Celebrate the Outcomes

When the outcome turns in your favour, celebrate. Your hard work deserves to be relished.

Rise to the Occasion

Hard work doesn’t end at the celebration point. Continue to rise to the occasion.

Looking back at January’s 2024 OneWord Post : A Year of Aces

Get a stack of playing cards

Any set will do. If it’s fun for you, do research and take the time to find a set for your year that reflects your personal aesthetic or vision for the year. My set for 2024 was the Esoteric Playing Cards.

pull out the aces

Open the box and remove the aces, keeping them with you daily.

Meditate and reflect on goals, dreams, and risks you could take

Take time to journal, reflect and take stock of where you want to go - think big and small.

Quietly create a plan to reach a goal, take a risk, make progress on a dream

Create a reasonable and attainable plan within a year to reach a goal, outcome, or way to accomplish progress. Work quietly on this.

When you decide you’ve reached YOUR goal, took a risk, made progress on your dream…

Only you know what that end outcome is.

Leave an ace behind as a calling card.

Wherever you have accomplished a goal, dream, or risk - leave your ace behind. Take a picture. Hold a ceremony and celebrate the work you did to get you there.

JOIN / FOLLOW THE JOURNEY

Instagram
#playedmyace #playyourace #theacedare

PREVIOUS ACE DARE POSTS

The Ace Dare

Amy Grace wearing black holding ace playing cards. Font overlay reads: A Year of Aces - 2024 - byamygrace

ace1 | ās | noun

1 a playing card with a single spot on it, ranked as the highest card in its suit in most card games: the ace of diamonds | life had started dealing him aces again figurative.

2 a person who excels at a particular sport or other activity.

3 a service that an opponent is unable to touch and thus wins a point.

PHRASES

an ace up one's sleeve.
a plan or piece of information kept secret until it becomes necessary to use it.
hold all the aces.
play one's ace.

I took unusually long to find a word that would encompass this new year. In fact, I left it until the last twelve hours of 2023. What choosing a word for each new year has taught me, is that they are incredibly prophetic, delightfully inspiring and deeply powerful.

Why Ace?

Too long I have played it safe. I have played the lowest to lower cards in my hand because it kept me safe from criticism, safe from the unknowns and most importantly safe from risk.
I have flirted with playing more risky hands from time to time, but almost always I find my way back to that safe place where I feel sure that I won’t loose anything in the process.

In many respects this has served me well.
My professional and personal growth have all paced at a speed that I can manage, I have been able to maintain bridges with those who have come in and out of my life and for the most part I have been able to maintain my own desired lifestyle in a manageable way.

Yet this pace has become altogether too slow.
I have been holding on to projects, opportunities, ideas, skills, words and adventures as if playing them would risk it all.
Maybe it will.
But
Maybe it won’t.

This year I am going to be watching, learning and discerning how and when to play my aces.

This year I am going to learn to embrace the risks.

& this year, I am going to stop playing it safe.

Onwards,

PREVIOUS ONEWORDS

2023
2022
2021
2020

res·o·nance| ˈrezənəns | noun
1 the quality in a sound of being deep, full, and reverberating: the resonance of his voice. • the ability to evoke or suggest images, memories, and emotions: the concepts lose their emotional resonance.
2 Physics the reinforcement or prolongation of sound by reflection from a surface or by the synchronous vibration of a neighboring object.
3 the condition in which an electric circuit or device produces the largest possible response to an applied oscillating signal, especially when its inductive and its capacitative reactances are balanced.

I leave the last hours of 2023 in awe.

Within 356 days, I have found a strength and understanding of myself that I had no idea was waiting for me.

I think of the voices who came alongside me. Those select family members, friends, and colleagues who didn’t let my self-doubt get in the way.

This year, I broke barriers of who I believed myself to be.

I trained myself to align with what would make my work and voice sound more precise, robust and profound.
I produced pieces that I knew would change the trajectory and plights of those in circumstances that needed help.
I connected and was softly mentored by local pillars in the audio medium.
I allowed myself to explore an arena I once believed was above me.
I applied my ideas and passion for a level of training that would change my approach and career.
I gained the awareness and tools to navigate generational and personal trauma.
I navigated the differences with grace, strength and tenderness towards others and myself.

I leave this year prouder and more robust than ever.

Yet as I say that, my eyes glisten with tears, and a deep ache presses against my heart.
I am learning to accept that with profound growth and progress comes a raw ache that exists hand in hand. One doesn’t come without the other.

I have lived a year of bliss and ache in a way I never have before.

Living reaching for resonance has reminded me of my values, abilities, and genuine pain.
They exist hand in hand.

Only hours are left on the clock of 2023, and still, I find thank-you on my lips.

Thank you to the pain.
Thank you to the bliss.
Thank you to the heartache.
Thank you to the courage.
Thank you to the ones who held me.
Thank you to the ones who hurt me.

These lessons are forever tattooed on my heart & with their sacred marks, I go.

Onwards,

When I pick a word to walk with for a year, I never know exactly what will happen on that journey. I can only know that the word came to me during reflection and processing of what I wanted for the coming year.

Resonance

came to me out of a deep desire to sink deeper into a medium and craft of audio storytelling I hadn’t let myself consider or even believe was possible for me. And yet, as 2022 ended, I found a new side of myself. A shiny new side that was there all along.

As I have worked the past six months to align myself with those that would help me develop quality, deep and evocative work and life, I have found something else. Something I didn’t expect.

I wasn’t only finding the fullness of others and the projects but a fullness in myself.

A deepening and broadening of horizons and. The point that I have had a hard time swallowing it all because everything up until this point has told me

• There is not enough money for you.

• You don’t have what it takes.

• Your role is ‘this,’ not ‘that.’

• You thought you were good at this, but you are not.

Etc.

Over the past two months, I have started to implement the concept of seeing what aligns with my values as a whole person. Not just as the person who pitches stories… but also as the woman.

The Amy Grace.

What does she want?

What is she capable of?

*it seems so silly to admit to these things… Haven’t I been doing this all along?

Yes & No.

The revelation is that I have been trying to be myself in a box. A box I still desperately wanted to fit.

I was never supposed to fit that box.

With this new understanding, I take resonances hand and explore what is outside the box and what is possible with the me that I am and the me I continue to find out I can be.

res·o·nance| ˈrezənəns | noun
1 the quality in a sound of being deep, full, and reverberating: the resonance of his voice. • the ability to evoke or suggest images, memories, and emotions: the concepts lose their emotional resonance.
2 Physics the reinforcement or prolongation of sound by reflection from a surface or by the synchronous vibration of a neighboring object.
3 the condition in which an electric circuit or device produces the largest possible response to an applied oscillating signal, especially when its inductive and its capacitative reactances are balanced.

I have been holding back.

All it takes is one quick scroll on Youtube, Instagram or Twitter to realize the number of voices on any one thing is endless. The number of vlogs, podcasts, blogs, essays, articles, series, tik-toks, memes, commentaries, and message boards on any topic is overwhelming at best.

I have found it alarming, overwhelming and, quite frankly, scared to be a voice that isn't adding anything but more noise to the cacophony.

To become part of the machine that doesn't make room for grace, compassion and courage.

Yet, now it's time to think differently. To think with a longer-lasting perspective.

Resonance.

To develop and evoke quality, depth and fullness in creation that echoes through life and work.
To practice the art of resonance is:
To fully express the fullness of thought and meaning behind a concept.
To seek collaborative hands to be the champions and refining behind the work.
To take in more than one angle of perspective on any one thing and be refined by all that surrounds a topic.

Onwards,

Amy Grace

res·o·nance| ˈrezənəns | noun
1 the quality in a sound of being deep, full, and reverberating: the resonance of his voice. • the ability to evoke or suggest images, memories, and emotions: the concepts lose their emotional resonance.

space | spās | noun
1 a continuous area or expanse which is free, available, or unoccupied
2 the dimensions of height, depth, and width within which all things exist and move
3 an interval of time (often used to suggest that the time is short considering what has happened or been achieved in it)
4 the portion of a text or document available or needed to write about a subject
5 the freedom and scope to live, think, and develop in a way that suits one

This year has sharpened me in ways I was not sure I was ready for or wanted.

For as brave and bold as some may believe me to be, I, too, can cave to the depths of doubt and weakness.

I realized this year that to claim space meant I needed to rise up and hold that space with the confidence I have. To not just fake or pretend but to truly and wholly own.

I was raised in parts but not in whole, on the value of humbleness and meekness within one's womanhood.

Yet something was nagging on me.

Something that brought me to tears when it kept raising it’s ugly head.

It happened simply and quietly when expressing myself around a dinner table.

It went something like this:

"I can give them something unique. I am a skilled storyteller and carry something others don't have. My previous training and way of seeing things make me excellent at what I do."

"You should watch how you say that. That sounds prideful, and it isn't Godly." was the reply.

"It's not prideful at all. If any of the men in this family sat here and said the same thing, I know for a fact they would be praised for their skills and intelligence. The same is true here. I know my skills, weaknesses, and where I need and want to grow. Both can be true." I responded.

It was a simple and symbolic yet crushing moment of realization.

The work was endless.

The struggle might be forever.

I spent months after this exchange navigating my self-doubt and wondering if anything would come of anything.

Yet during that time, I was learning what I was worth and what I was willing to do to make the effort I could make known.

I found that effort and work within a project of holding space for others.

This is my passion, and I have learned this more than any other this year.

I am meant to hold space for myself to do the heavy and essential work of holding space for others.

It won't stop here.

This word.

This theme.

It's a lifetime commitment.

Just because a new year comes and with it a new word,

Space will remain a word that I will hold and continue to strive for.

I pray as 2022 turns 2023 that, our pauses of reflections of the days behind us remind us of the sacred and beautiful art of being wholly and fully capable in our places.

None of it is a mistake.

Every single moment is here for the teaching.

The making and the breathing.

Thank you, 2022, for being the year that reminded me of the true intent behind the work.

Onwards,

I started 2022 out with the word Space as my One word. I have been carrying with me these words to go along with them:

How am I expanding into S P A C E today?

Expand into

Fill Up

Hold

Make

Create

S P A C E

I started the year feeling more empowered to make daring moves. To claim the space, I was seeing before me. It wasn't easy, it was scary, and I continued applying, pitching and finding little wins along the way.

Then I was hit.

Self-doubt.

You see,

Despite a deep belief in a calling that calls me to hold space for others, ask them deep and inspiring questions, capture them and find a way to showcase what I see about the world around me, I also recognize I came into all of this unconventionally.

It wasn't until I made my most daring and scary move thus far in my creative / documentary career yet at the end of May that I realized I was putting myself out there in a way that scared me.

And then S P A C E, meant a totally different thing.

Space became a challenge to remember how to hold space for me when no one else is around to hold me.

When the quiet rages, the lack of response, recognition, and relational interactions persist.

What does it look like to hold space for me?

It has led me back to me.

We believe that we hustle to success.

That we become millionaires from building something from the ground up and never stopping.

We believe that we are the makers of our own designs.

We forget that we are the souls that need our whole selves, not just portions we leave on the shelf because they are too weighty to carry.

I continue to strive to fill up, hold, make and create space that honours myself and those around me, and that may mean that I won't see the bigger picture until much later, but I will not become less of myself in the process. I will not shelf my healing until later, and I will not lose relationships that matter along the way.

I will honour the whole process, not just the portions that look like success. I will also honour the quiet and most mundane and lonely moments.

They all

equally

matter.

space | spās | noun
1 a continuous area or expanse which is free, available, or unoccupied
2 the dimensions of height, depth, and width within which all things exist and move
3 an interval of time (often used to suggest that the time is short considering what has happened or been achieved in it)
4 the portion of a text or document available or needed to write about a subject
5 the freedom and scope to live, think, and develop in a way that suits one

Regarding life, I often compare living experiences to that of a space we have been invited into.

Everyone has their own unique Space they are in. Some are busy growing and cultivating; others, wounded and confused with how to tend to the wreckage of the Space before them.

Some of us have taken too much pride over our perfectly tended to Space's only to realize that all it takes is one of life's tragic hurricanes to completely destroy everything we have built.

As it is with any space, as it is with life.

Nothing is permeant.
Everything is experienced.

I believe that despite what it looks like at this moment, I am being called to claim the Space that I have already been growing into.

This is a very 'New Year' concept, yet I mean this truly and uniquely.

Understanding oneself enough to know what one brings to Space will boost everyone and honour one's own skills.

To take up Space means you understand there are nuances.

Embedded in our society are two structures that directly conflict with each other.

Your voice only matters if you pay your dues, look a certain way, act a certain way and play the system.
Your voice matters no matter who you hurt, how you slander if it's based on proven facts or not and if you are louder than the opposite side.

I want to unlearn these two very scary structures.

Because the truth is,

To show up to the Space, we are called to expand in that will be long lasting and legacy building, we need to

1. Hold Space for oneself.

2. Hold Space for others.

3. Discern the difference between a rare and unique situation and an unhealed wound.

4. Show up and harness oneself to bring ones' best to any given moment.

Hard work is what it takes to stay open to the nuances of life.

And for me, that is what Space is all about.

To walk into the Space. To do the hard work to press in, cultivate it for healing, understanding and creating new boundary lines to thrive even when my heart aches, the body is tired and the soul, weary.

The invitation to expand into space isn’t easy, but the journey

I believe

Is life-changing.

And so,

Into this space, I go.

Learning how to stand taller, expand wider and grow deeper.

Onwards,

Amy Grace

flow | flō | verb [no object ] 1 (of a fluid, gas, or electricity) move along or out steadily and continuously in a current or stream: from here the river flows north | ventilation channels keep the air flowing | a cross-current of electricity seemed to flow between them. • (of the sea or a tidal river) move toward the land; rise. Compare with ebb.2 [with adverbial of direction ] go from one place to another in a steady stream, typically in large numbers: the firm is hoping the orders will keep flowing in. • proceed or be produced smoothly, continuously, and effortlessly: talk flowed freely around the table. • (of clothing or hair) hang loosely in an easy and graceful manner: her red hair flowed over her shoulders. • be available in copious quantities: their talk and laughter grew louder as the excellent brandy flowed. • (flow from) result from; be caused by: there are certain advantages that may flow from that decision. 3 (of a solid) undergo a permanent change of shape under stress, without melting.

To live in ‘flow’ for the year 2021 has opened my eyes to what it means to honour my own values over not just a moment, but over a long period.

It’s easy to say our values, and it’s a lot harder to live them.

Over this year, I have written, produced and even ended long-standing projects and collaborations.

The process of ending long-standing projects and my own involvement in a handful of collaborations allowed me to truly understand what following ‘flow’ and its unique rhythm can do.

Authentic rhythm creates long-lasting and sustainable momentum.

We often think that it’s how much we are being seen, heard, and understood that makes us valuable in our lives and work, yet so much of what makes us valuable is the unseen moments.

That moment on the phone listening to a good friend share their burdens.
That moment of sitting at your desk despite tiredness and finding a reply in your inbox that makes you smile.
That moment of laughter at the end of the day over a silly observation in life.
That moment of knowing that what matters most is the two faces you wake up to in the morning.
That moment you pass a plate to someone who needs an excellent tasty something, and you get to rest in their enjoyment of being nourished.

So much of the world wants to tell us that we have to force it.

Ignore our feelings.
Fit in more hours.
Sleep less.
Hustle more.

But Flow says

You can move steadily along
From here to there.
There to here.
There is no one perfect shape.
But your shape.
No one perfect way.
But your unique way.
Not one particular pattern.
But the one you are still learning to make.

Living with Flow has given me the permission to move in a way that only I can.

In methodical, powerful and inspiring ways.

Onwards,

to 2022.

When June arrives, it always has a way of shocking me.

“June? Already?” I think like clockwork every June 1st.

With just under six months of putting the concept of ‘Flow’ at work in both the personal and professional I have had a few revelations, some struggles and some meditative thoughts sprinkled in.

Flow has eased into my thinking

and attempted at reminding my busy mind to let what is happening ‘happen’. It has also challenged me to tune in to the chaos and distractions that abide and find new ways to navigate through them.

There will always be a family crisis, a pressing social engagement, a work deadline, a chore, a medical / personal appointment, etc to tend to.

There is also S P A C E to flow through these things, if we but let it.

Part of it, is giving ourselves permission not to be rushed by our own expectations and those of others.

I see it in how we are approaching Summer this year.

Summer’s are usually stuffed with people ‘coming back home’ for visits, special events, road trips, and networking events.

Despite the pandemic, this year looks very much the same as most.

‘Back home visits’, special events, road trips and networking events...you name it.

Depending on who you are in the work you do, depends on the amount of days in a summer you can take off.
For an Electrical Engineer who specializes in oceanography equipment and a writer / producer in the film and television industries…our prime output times are in the warmer months of the year.

Ya’ll, there are only eight weekends in summer the ‘official summer break’ calendar, yet we act like it’s a four month occasion with no work deadlines, medical appointments, home projects mixed in.
That’s about sixteen days to attend to all of those needs without taking time off work.
That could seem like a lot, but in reality.. it goes by like a flash.

But this year…

Although we are honouring the special events of our own, the need to refresh our souls by the ocean and re-connect with our peers after almost 2 years of constant distance, we are letting ‘flow’ rule our calendar.

Setting down the plan book, the dates, the constant need to fit in ‘just one more visit’, and seeing what happens in the beauty of one day and one week at a time.

Having the the space enough to ask ourselves, ‘what do we need this weekend? How can we show up for what we have to do, what we need to do and also what we can do?

Although we may not always be able to have the weekend / summer schedule that we would wish, letting our personal family unit’s flow dictate the schedule and not the surrounding pressure of ‘summertime’ madness is one way we are learning from embracing what it means to honour momentum of now.

Entering 2021, there was a strong rising up in me to embrace the growth and shifts that had occurred in 2020, not with a rebellion, but with a spirit of quiet confidence.

Much has shifted in the personal and professional aspects of life this year that it seems the only way to continue is to merely that: continue.

Sometimes one needs a shakeup, and other times, one needs to allow the growth from before to allow the next wave of change and progression to continue.

Flow

noun 1 [in singular] the action or fact of moving along in a steady, continuous stream: the flow of water into the pond.

I have recently come into an awareness of how to harness my daily rhythms to allow me to work more openly and efficiently. Starting work at six o'clock am, getting the bulk of my tasks down first thing to free up my mind for any lingering or surprising tasks/events has allowed me the creative space to be innovative in my work.

It's easy to get caught up with the busywork. Scrolling on social media, answering emails and falling down rabbit holes when researching.

Embracing the idea that I can plan my days to flow in a natural way instead of trying to cram every second with a to-do list and inevitably numbing my mind with scrolling as breaks that were inefficient methods of pretending productivity was a game-changer.

The questions I keep coming back to:

How can I harness this new awareness?

How can I not lose what I have learned?

How can I go into a new year and not forget?

And there it came.

The concept of flow.

That you can go from one thing to another with a steady and continuous movement. That it doesn't need to crash or bang, or even shout. That it can be as simple and beautiful as the quiet confidence of moving from one year to the next.

Throughout this new year, I hope to continue the work I have begun. To push projects into production and to the writers' rooms, be them physical or virtual.

I will remember the rest that is required when working hard to create and collaborate. I will set up boundaries to keep myself from getting distracted with the mindless busywork that seeks to distract me, like fast food.

I will remember that to create is to also allow the concept of flow to produce a rhythm that is as sustainable as it is in motion.

I heard the rumble beneath my feet.
A storm warning.
I think we all heard it.
I think we all knew that 2020 would change us.
I’m not sure that any of us knew how much.

How much wreckage, ache and wounds it would leave in its wake.

The people who died.
The people who suffered.
The people who wailed for a nation and a world to wake up.
The people who lost incomes and opportunities.
The people who were trapped.

2020 was a year I proclaimed boldness over my life. I knew that if I was to continue in the direction I was heading, I would need to harness my fears and daily make choices that went against my own tendencies to anxiety. So with an understanding of what it would mean to be bold, I went into the year asking for the grace to keep space for myself and others as I navigated the unknowns, and the confidence to trust the calling.

And then it began.

My steadfast and strong grandfather being taken by cancer in mere weeks, gripping onto my cousin as we grappled with the loss we just couldn’t comprehend and the realization that we couldn’t hold a funeral. The world announcing a pandemic, and staying home to stay safe. Thirty-three people murdered near our city by a man dressed as a police officer. Watching the outcry of the Black Lives Matter movement and discussing the systemic racism found in every corner of our world, including our own mixed-race family. Finding that our current home might not be the best place for our little family to continue growing, trying to sell our little home and find a new one. Kidney stones. Sending our daughter to her first year of a public school during a pandemic with masks in her pockets. A grandmother diagnosed with cancer….

But I see it there.

Boldness.

It’s a golden thread.

It’s in those quiet moments of attempting to hold each other close in the grief despite past traumas and pain. In that persistence in writing applications despite a lack of work opportunities. In the discussions with those in Women in Film about how to better support our BIPOC community. Trusting that our next home was waiting for us as we did the work of preparing and searching. Accepting sponsorship to take online classes from a producer and writer in England and learning how to collaborate with colleagues in new ways. Advocating for my own physical health in an emergency room. Supporting our daughter through so much change into her first year of school. Pitching ideas to broadcasters and honouring contracts. Finding a new sense of ourselves after so much heartache and pain.

& so,

We’ve suffered, and we’ve come out battered and a bit wounded.

I would also argue, that a lot of that wounding and reshaping…

It was for a way to be made new in this new decade.

We are called to new things.

If we stay the same,

Live the way we always have lived

See-through the same lens we’ve always been viewing it all through,

We’ll never be truly becoming.

Making the bold next right move has transformed the way I look at things. The world is a place full of beauty, and full of pain. How we hold space for both of those truths is something that will define us and those around us.

I want to continue into the next year continuing the work that boldness showed me.

It’s possible to call out what is dangerous, what is systemic and harmful and not lose the grace and perspective that allows us to recognize the pain and wounds that have shaped the situations before us.

Ever complex, ever-evolving, ever-changing and always needing someone to hold space for the next bold right thing.

Conrads Beach, Nova Scotia. 2020

How is it that we are already at the midway point of 2020?

It's safe to say this year was not a year any of us would have expected.

Globally, a pandemic and call to action to address racism, specifically in regards to Black communities.

Nationally, the effects of a pandemic and wake up call to how we work and play.

Provincially, a mass shooting concluded to be our countries largest to date and the very strict lockdown and social distancing measures our government took. Their leadership leading us to have zero cases the past two and a half weeks and to open up to the Atlantic provinces after Canada Day to connect with our maritime families.

Personally, the loss of a grandfather, a delay and unknown time for a memorial service, work being shifted to pre-production and development instead of production and being on sets. Working from home, teaching preschool from home…

I could go on…

I started 2020, embracing the word "Bold'. I wanted to embrace the next right bold moves.

Shockingly despite the blows, this remains true. I may not be hopping on a plane like I thought I would be, or seeing Jeremy off to Israel for a work trip, but we have found that the bold moves can also be the quiet and unseen ones.

Applying for a learning opportunity, saying yes to new initiatives, developing new concepts and working on new collaborations with ongoing projects.

Recognizing a need for our family and stepping out in faith to ask for it. Unknowns all around but feeling strongly that it's the Bold right next step we need to take and patiently see where it takes us.

So far, 2020 has taught me that Boldness and making Bold moves are often not as loud as you think it would be.

It's not the roar the lioness makes, but the way she looks before she does it. Her roar is simply a signal of what is to come. A minor thing in comparison to the action she is about to take.

So, although I thought 2020 would be about me making a big noise in work and life, what I realize is that it's the intent behind the next bold right move that is what get's you places and sometimes the next bold right thing is not what you expected until you are right on top of it.

And then you pull back, look around and prepare to roar before leaping forward and digging into what comes next.

The days ticked by in December.

I still hadn’t identified my one word for 2020.

A year that looks and feels like something special. 100 years ago, women in North America and beyond were beginning to modernize and break out of the molds that had been set for them. It seems fitting that we are entering a new decade where #metoo, cultural sensitivity and gender parity are topics on the table. Ten years ago I graduated as an American Sign Language English Interpreter, got engaged to my now partner in crime and started my first career-focused job interpreting at a high school. I was attempting to fit the mold I believed was what I was made for. Part of it was learned, part of it was my own interpretation of what was expected of me, and part of it was fear of not having a place in this world. So I made it myself.

I didn’t ask permission then, and thankfully I don’t ask permission now.

It was seeing a simple posting from a professional entity on social media mid-December that moved me into 2020. A simple post about an opportunity. So I clicked. I clicked through many links and read through all the information and then it dawned on me.

This is my next BOLD right move.

Bold

bold | bəʊld | adjective 1 (of a person, action, or idea) showing a willingness to take risks; confident and courageous

It’s wasn’t the certainty that I could get something that made me sense the rightness of it. It was the realization that I had come to a place, somehow in the past 365-day journey where I could click through all of these links and recognize that who I am matched what was being asked for. That I could step up, raise my hand and ask “How about me?” and do that with a nervous heartbeat, but one that was assured, confident and ready to step out and welcome the risks.

I am ready.

2019 was, in many respects, a difficult year. It was also a year of growth and seeing that growth made me realize that it is time to be making moves.

Not rushed and unsure moves.

Just simple, patient and the next bold right move.

I started 2019 off by choosing a word to focus on for the year both personally and professionally.

Curate
verb: select, organize, and present (content, merchandise, information…)
typically using professional or expert knowledge

Personally

It is comedic to look back and realize that I chose this word not knowing that we would have to fully gut and renovate our kitchen. The early weeks of 2019 were full of anxiety, discomfort, and unknowns as we trial and errored to fix a serious house problem which led us directly into the very raw and real experience of having to strip what we had down to the bare bones and begin to build back and choose carefully how we would put a new kitchen in (as well as manage our house better to avoid this problem re-occurring). It forced us to naturally curate as we went. For that I am thankful. The journey was harsh, but now, as we use our renovated kitchen, host our friends and make goals for the new year, it is obvious that the work we put in over the months have carefully and naturally curated what we have (physically and metaphorically) into valued and treasured elements of our lives.

Professionally

I went into the year wanting to align myself with projects and people that created empowering and insightful content. Using those values as a guide I have been able to see first hand how taking one’s time, carefully choosing the next right yes and discerning carefully along the way creates strong long-lasting work. Launching Brilliansea with Claire Fraser gave me hands-on experience with seeing film and media projects go from conception to reality. While managing a new platform and personal home renovations I also was able to honor my writing sessions to put ideas to paper and begin creating drafts of various new projects for pitching, applications, etc. Staying true to who I am has led me to create strong connections with many women including those on the board of ‘Women in Film and Television Atlantic’. Being welcomed on the board has been an honor and a joy.

As I begin to close the chapter on this year’s word “Curation” I feel proud and excited to see what is to come in 2020.

Fireworks from Dewolf Park. Bedford. NS

I think it’s safe to say the first half of this year has flown by…

At the beginning of 2019, I felt it impressed upon me to focus on the word ‘Curate’ and it has remained with me every day since.

Personally

This year has taken turns we were not expecting. Dealing with a beetle infestation and having to embrace that our home needed us to put some financial investment into it not down the road, but right now, was a blow to a few of our plans this year. In reflection, I see how those hard and confusing months allowed us to see how important it is to invest in our home and property and that we are 100% capable of doing so. I believe that God has a way of providing what you need exactly when you need it. So many little things along the way helped me to see that even when it feels like a step back, so often that step back is so you can leap forward in a more clearer and better direction.

Professionally

Earlier this year I had a break through with my use of time. I recognized I was acting as if I still had a very dependant toddler at home when really we were thriving together and individually. When I started assessing how busy I felt I realized it was because I was doing tasks like a scattered mom with young children. Making an effort to re-evaluate how I can have a better work flow has been essential and of course I discovered all of this to only have to put a lot on hold to deal with our home, but that time of distraction allowed me to see how necessary developing a proper work flow for this new stage was and how efficient I could be for my work and projects.

As I enter into the last half of 2019

I recognize I still want to continue curating our home and it’s atmosphere. Putting our house back together after months of upheaval in a mindful and intentional way will allow us to find rest, to host others and commune together in it. I also want to continue re-evaluating on a weekly, monthly and seasonal basis how I allot time for paid and non paid work. Both are worthy causes and both deserve the appropriate attention.

New Years Eve Sparklers | 2019

The ground is shifting.

It’s quaking and rumbling beneath my feet. I can sense the place in which I am planted is about to change in this new year.

If I am being honest, it has created a lot of questions for me.

How will I manage in 2019 as these shifts take place?

Will I and what’s important to me, fall through the cracks?

Will I find that I am even more capable, or will I crumble?

Spinning these thoughts in my head over the past month has led me to the unique word: ‘Curate’.

Curate verb

• select, organize, and present (online content, merchandise, information, etc.), typically using professional or expert knowledge:

& although it’s often reserved to explain an art gallery or other aspects of gathering information/elements together, it has struck a chord within me. As I am adjusting to the ‘shifting’ and ‘growing’ in my / our lives, it is time for me to make careful and precise choices with where I place my energy and time.

PERSONALLY

Raising a ‘little’ into a child to equip her to handle the various aspects of life that will be thrown at her in less than 2 years (entering the public school system) means we need to be even more focused on bringing her the opportunities to grow, learn and mature in a new way. My time with her in this format of life is limited. Instilling values of kindness, empowerment, literacy, imagination, etc, before her world becomes more than just us, is increasingly heightened in importance.

As a family we are capable of more than we ever have been before. Leaving the baby/toddler stage has meant we are more able to connect and interact with our community, family and friends on a deeper level. It’s time to open up and pour out our energies in a new way.

PROFESSIONALLY

Continue to carefully align myself with the work atmosphere, collaborative teams and projects, knowing that what I commit to will get my full attention. Learning not to downplay myself & what I have to offer is a practice. I have learned so much in the past year about my craft, the industry I work in and where my boundaries are. Continuing to cultivate these interactions and various work projects while upholding my values is not a risk, it’s an integral part of who I am and how I choose to function within this world.

& as I close on this first day of the New Year,

by learning how to ‘curate’ in both my personal and professional life, I will be finding the proper footing to keep my feet actively on the ground while also gaining insight on how to adjust wherever 2019 puts me / us.

Happy New Year!

In January I made this statement:

"Focusing on excellence in my work, my choices and my lifestyle ideals are what is forefront in my mind as I journey into this next year..."

How has this played out?

IN THE PROFESSIONAL

I have been in the process of levelling up in my work quality.  I have created a few pieces that surprised me and they are in various stages of development.  I have also had to learn what it means to say no.  To have to stand up for myself in a professional setting shook me up.  It reminded me of my values, of what I will and will not work towards.  It reminded me of why I do what I do and what type of writer that makes me.  In essence, excellence might look a bit like having a strong sense of self tied directly to my professional being.

IN THE PERSONAL

I have a better sense of where I want my energy to be poured out in my family, my friends and my community.  I have a better sense of what I can be giving and it has created some clarity over the past few months.  Attending our local church has allowed me to truly sink into creating deeper relationships with people who live near us.  It has been an anchor and given me space to inhale and exhale while connecting with family, friends and anyone else who crosses my path.

OVERALL

This half of the year hasn't been easy by any means, but it has developed in me a sense of strength and discernment in situations that are beyond me.  I have been reminded of Who made me, Why I am driven to create and What makes me unique.  Striving for excellence has never been about prerfection, but about truly understanding who I am, what I can fully bring to the table and how I can serve. 

Happy New Year!!!

It's no secret that I absolutely adore the New Year.  A fresh start with time to reflect and kick start what needs to change and what needs to move forward.  It is my cat nip.  My elixir of choice.  Every season that turns and every year that arrives brings new insights, new ideas and new ways of evolving.  Another year of life to live to it's fullest.

For anyone who has checked in here from time to time, it is obvious that our layout for this website has changed.  As each year changes so do we and this website has undergone another shift.  We have shifted the focus to become a landing page, running portfolio of the work and projects I am doing, along with a current and continually updated CV.  I will still be maintaining a bi-weekly blog post presence for those who want to continue following the blog format, and hope that these changes will be a better reflection of the work that I am doing today.

Thank-you to every person who is invested in the journey that I am on as a writer and creative, whom litter my inbox with encouragement, inspirational thoughts and walk with me through the highs and the lows.  You are an incredible force in my life.  

2017

Was a year of growth, discovery of my place in the creative world as it is now, and claiming that what I had to offer was of value and worth.  That as a writer, I am worthy of being here on this earth.  I discovered that with that journey of claiming what I have been called to do, a joy follows it. 

I have experienced over the last year a peace and a joy that has surpasses my own understanding.   The questions of "What the heck am I doing?", "is this worth it?" have been eclipsed by the joy of the work.  

2018

for me is about pursuing that joy, what I can learn from the industry I have found a passion for and continuslouy hitting the desk, meetings and inspirations to pursue what has been given to me.  It became so evident as the reflections began over the last few months that a new word was to be focused on this year:

Excellence

noun . The quality of being outstanding or extremely good.  
           an outstanding feature or quality

Excellence because it's not about perfection or a specific rating.  Excellence surpasses a rating because it reaches for more than the 'right' delivery and goes straight to something unique.  It reaches for what cannot be fully described or put in a box.  It is, as it is.  

Outstanding.  Of itself, a high quality. 

Focusing on excellence in my work, my choices and my lifestyle ideals are what is forefront in my mind as I journey in this next year!

May you be inspired by this New Year given to us and reach into your depths for whatever it is you are called to be and do. 

Cheers & Happy New Year!