Episode IV - How one centres oneself when the practice of creativity is unclear.
Creative Field Notes is a series that studies the way creativity weaves itself throughout and communicates with all aspects of the natural rhythms of life.
Amy Grace, a writer and creative producer in Nova Scotia, is fascinated by the creative process. She speaks to Jeff Douglas about how some people are learning to be creative without letting "hustle culture" make them lose sight of the important things in their lives.
Episode 3 - What a day of attempting creativity looks like for me. Often full of surprises.
Creative Field Notes is a series that studies the way creativity weaves itself throughout and communicates with all aspects of the natural rhythms of life.
This winter felt deeply like a retreat of the soul.
Weekend storms, ice covering trees, snow piled up and the air bitter with gusts that cut into the core.
As if everything in nature was pointing to a need to sit down, take cover and hold on.
I have felt as if the snow was covering me. Keeping me warm, yet sometimes the weight of it, confusing.
Ideas have been tucked away, words slow and stilted, my voice tired.
And then I began to see the robins.
One by one, they began to fill the trees around me, reminding me that there was something to remember about this time of year.
Something they were too anxious to wait for,
so they came early.
I can feel the spring air coming and something new and stirring in the soul with it.
Ideas are fluttering around my head again, the words are coming quicker now, and my voice is gaining strength.
Winter is ending.
I am tying up the loose ends of a radio project with CBC Producer Natalie Dobbin, finishing the first draft of script alongside Ian Wilson, pitched with Lynn Matheson at Transmedia Zone’s pitch event, exploring my own personal projects through monthly short videos and wrapping up the second draft of a script.
Spring is arriving.
I am seeing the projects bud up in front of me. An audio project here, a documentary there, and that sweet dear project reminding me it needs more sunlight.
There will be rain, winds and cold snaps, but there will also be warm light, fresh soil, and new connections to be made.
Episode 2 - Reflections on the weight of trauma and what it means to give space for others and the situations we are unaware of.
Creative Field Notes is a series that studies the way creativity weaves itself throughout and communicates with all aspects of the natural rhythms of life.
*a note:
Throughout February, I became more heavily burdened for the words we use to communicate our own perspectives.
Watching posts on social media become more and more volatile and disrespectful.
It is damaging when we create outrage on the internet yet miss the ones beside us who are suffering.
We ‘other’ others without hesitation. We insert sarcastic emojis, gifs and snippets of news clips to demand our point and our outrage to be seen.
Yet,
We have become increasingly numb to the trauma and wounds of others.
Seeing the trees around us bear the weight of the winter ice and winds reminded us how much we are all carrying.
And by we, I mean…
The ‘we’ of humanity. ‘We’ the breathing. ‘We’ the me and ‘we’ the you.
’We’ the ‘every’ side.
May we collectively remember, especially now, what it means to support those who are suffering, to be the place they can recover and find strength and not the place they struggle to survive and begin to break under the weight of our own words and actions.
It’s no secret I love films.
Any film that makes me think, feel deeply or reflect makes my list of forever favourites.
Here are the top five and why they make the cut.
About Time
This film has a one-two punch. First, you think you are watching a rom-com, to which you are. Next, you think you are watching some fantastical reality, to which you are, and last, you think you are watching an essay on how to stay mindful and appreciative in your life, to which you absolutely also are. It has perfectly delivered a reminder, laugh and warmth that we all need.
Stories We Tell
Albeit a documentary, this film gutted me and reshaped my reasons for why I write and why I seek to share stories. For me, it’s never been about hitting the zeitgeist or getting noticed, and it’s about trying to reach that compulsion to understand something in a more profound and more meaningful way. Sarah Polly is a beacon in storytelling work for this, and here is a perfect example of how telling stories has value on the inner and outward self.
Inside Out
This animation film shakes the ground on humanity. Pixar killed it and left me processing this for years, and I am still processing it. As I raise my own child, I have moments where scenes come back to me, reminding me when things are tender, unique or raw.
Now & Then
This film brings me back to one of the safest spaces I have ever been. Curled up with my cousin, watching this. It speaks to that age we were, the storm of confusion we were about to experience and what brings me back to this is the idea that we were intertwined then and found our way to be just as intertwined now. Every time I revisit it, it is nostalgic, bitter-sweet, and beautiful things to me.
Before Sunrise
I am late to this trilogy, but it has been another example of pure excellence in storytelling and writing. Many people in film stick their noses up at pages of dialogue. Still, Richard Linklater pushes the envelope open on real people in this project, and each of the three films tells us so much about real people, genuine relationships and real life.
For the year 2022, I’ll be working on a personal project and series “Creative Field Notes”.
Using my personal reflections, creative inspirations and topics I find that is relevant I will be putting together content in a monthly format that aims to reflect that process.
I am not fully clear on how this will shape itself, but I believe that is the whole point.
I want to become closer to myself and those around me through my creative journey.
I want to document more.
I want to find out how this lives outside of myself
and
I want to stay attentive and mindful of the creative process as a whole.
Whatever else occurs while working on this, will surely be an on-the-ground and active discovery.
Onwards,
New Year.
New…
Newsletter.
I’ve resisted this ‘traditional’ approach to my work for a long time.
Yet there is something more intimate and connected about crafting a letter just for the ones who want to hear it.
Here is what this monthly drop into your inbox aims to be:
a personal letter from me.
creative notations/observations over the past month.
Links to other creative’s/works that have caught my eye and why.
quick links to any blogs/links that I have released.
Anything up & coming that might be relevant.
I hope to keep this as personal and as minimal as possible.
For those of us who want to feel in a community together, this is my first step in 2022 to create that.
For opting in click on the image below to bring you to my home page where this image and sign up lives.
space | spās | noun
1 a continuous area or expanse which is free, available, or unoccupied
2 the dimensions of height, depth, and width within which all things exist and move
3 an interval of time (often used to suggest that the time is short considering what has happened or been achieved in it)
4 the portion of a text or document available or needed to write about a subject
5 the freedom and scope to live, think, and develop in a way that suits one
Regarding life, I often compare living experiences to that of a space we have been invited into.
Everyone has their own unique Space they are in. Some are busy growing and cultivating; others, wounded and confused with how to tend to the wreckage of the Space before them.
Some of us have taken too much pride over our perfectly tended to Space's only to realize that all it takes is one of life's tragic hurricanes to completely destroy everything we have built.
As it is with any space, as it is with life.
Nothing is permeant.
Everything is experienced.
I believe that despite what it looks like at this moment, I am being called to claim the Space that I have already been growing into.
This is a very 'New Year' concept, yet I mean this truly and uniquely.
Understanding oneself enough to know what one brings to Space will boost everyone and honour one's own skills.
To take up Space means you understand there are nuances.
Embedded in our society are two structures that directly conflict with each other.
Your voice only matters if you pay your dues, look a certain way, act a certain way and play the system.
Your voice matters no matter who you hurt, how you slander if it's based on proven facts or not and if you are louder than the opposite side.
I want to unlearn these two very scary structures.
Because the truth is,
To show up to the Space, we are called to expand in that will be long lasting and legacy building, we need to
Hold Space for oneself.
Hold Space for others.
Discern the difference between a rare and unique situation and an unhealed wound.
Show up and harness oneself to bring ones' best to any given moment.
Hard work is what it takes to stay open to the nuances of life.
And for me, that is what Space is all about.
To walk into the Space. To do the hard work to press in, cultivate it for healing, understanding and creating new boundary lines to thrive even when my heart aches, the body is tired and the soul, weary.
The invitation to expand into space isn’t easy, but the journey
I believe
Is life-changing.
And so,
Into this space, I go.
Learning how to stand taller, expand wider and grow deeper.
Onwards,
Amy Grace
Wrapping up a year, it’s easy to get caught up in the next thing.
I’ll be the first to say I love planning and jumping into the new
but,
before the jump,
let’s pause and take a moment to celebrate the wins of 2021.
Completing the ‘Owning It’ series alongside Natalie Dobbin and Claire Fraser was a high. Both Claire and I worked hard under our Brilliansea umbrella to create space for showcasing the skills of various women. in Owning It, we were able to share that with a broadcaster. I am so proud of our work under Brilliansea and the Owning It series.
The radio doc ‘Speak to Me!’ for CBC radio produced by Natalie Dobbin was indeed a piece of my heart in audio format. It was a learning experience to understand how to take an idea and format it for radio, but it was a fulfilling experience that left me inspired and ready to produce and create more.
The radio series ‘What We Carry with Us’ with Natalie Dobbin and Megan Piercey Monafu. A labour of love and a way to showcase a varying take on documenting the memories and people we love.
Along with these projects I have:
Finished production on a podcast for WIFT-AT.
Finished a pilot episode first draft on a drama.
Started a children’s book with a good friend and illustrator.
In collaboration with another actor and writer on a television series.
The wins are so important to remember.
It allows us to recognize that growth has occurred, and
the reminder that it will happen again.
You are never done growing.
Over the past year, I have been able to link up with various artists and artisans to create work and the one thing it has reminded me of again and again.
I love collaboration.
That spark and joy occur between people when ideas come together and boost themselves into something bigger, fuller, broader.
Collaboration isn’t always easy.
It can be confusing, sticky, challenging and a bit like therapy.
Always trying to communicate in some creative and haphazard way that may only work between you as that team coming together to make that specific thing.
Currently, I am working on developing a project with a dear friend, and it has us all over the place with love for each other, the project and the heart behind it.
And that is genuinely what collaboration is all about.
Realizing the heart behind the work.
Use your intellectual mind and skills to bring them forth with a common heart and goal.
It’s where all people involved can shine. Bringing their beautiful souls to the surface of the work and letting them work speak for itself.
Although all of these projects are long-term and not at all ready to be shared, we can know that despite the collaboration process being hard work and extended, it can be some of the most rewarding and beautiful things.
Examples of Beautiful Collaborations:
Sunrise Trilogy: Ethan Hawke, Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy
The Last Mrs, Parrish : Liv Constantine aka : sisters Lynne Constantine and Valerie Constantine.
Little Fires Everywhere (Limited TV Series): Kerry Washington , Reese Witherspoon, Celeste Ng
We are the World | Lionel Richie & Michael Jackson & various performers others (MJ’s work and reputation have clearly been tarnished by much of what the public now knows. For me, it does not tarnish this song and the deeper meaning and cause it was created for.)
It’s taken almost a full year to give birth to a specific first draft of a project.
I have taken my time processing the reasons behind wanting to craft this story, and it’s taken me a lot of time to process each turn and twist.
I’ve worked to lay the cards on the table and see what I have to work with.
Sharing this project with a select few has allowed me to see where I need to fill in plot holes and various clarifications. I liked to cover this project up, saying it was the roughest of rough ideas.
But the honest truth is it’s taken full shape, and it’s time to take it into its next draft.
A little group of words to push me into a new season with a new draft.
Onwards,
and may the cards fall where they may.
Recently a handful of my laptop keys stopped working on my 2017 MacBook Pro.
This would be the second time that important keys have stopped working and the second time that the whole keyboard has been replaced.
Thankfully we have found a way to take care of this, and it hasn’t impeded my life as much as it could have.
That being said,
All the creatives in the house know-how jarring it can be when that one tool breaks or that one time you had set aside for your craft is hindered by something.
Angst. Panic, and perhaps some swear words.
This is life.
When best-laid plans for a moment in time are interrupted by something, someone or some force.
How can the creative person move past this and make it work to their benefit?
UNPLUG
If you use technology as your craft and are forced to put the most essential tools in the shop or wait for replacements, let your clients and colleagues know the time frame of your absence while you wait, what you will be working on in the meantime and unplug.
There is nothing more freeing than not seeing every new event, opportunity, pop culture update, text, email etc.
A creative mind is renewed by the silence and space of a day uninterrupted by other alerts.
PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Don’t overthink this. It doesn’t need to be high brow or anything overt. For me, it can be as simple as watching a documentary, listening to a podcast, playing around with my camera or reading good fiction.
WALK
When last forced to go without my laptop (you’d be surprised how much of my professional and personal life exists on it), my almost daily walk was chock-full of ideas for new and continued projects. Walks and showers are where I find my clear thoughts, but this was different. This was with the peace knowing I couldn’t immediately do anything about these ideas and possible work moves once I arrived home.
SHARE
Know who your creative support is and have a good catch-up on allllll those feels. As much as we’d like to think that everyone has it all together, knowing exactly what they are doing at all hours of the day and year. They don’t. They are just as clueless, frustrated and questioning themselves from time to time as you.
And lastly,
Give yourself a pat on the back.
Your creativity is already in who you are.
You are enough.
You bring more than enough to the table
and sometimes
an exhale, followed by an inhale
even if forced
is the exact right thing before you break a new wave onto the shore.
This season I invested in a camera.
With the help of a colleague, I settled on the Canon E0S to replace my second-hand Sony A7, which, let's be honest, was frustrating at best.
Although I still would like to get my hands on a few more elements for this sweet babe, an attachable microphone and a macro lens, to name a few, I am delighted with this compact and portable camera.
With this, I am not seeking to become the world's best cinematographer or photographer, but that I can practice capturing moments in a way that elevates my projects and my own understanding of storytelling.
I can see it would be advantageous if I made a creative challenge in 2022 to keep me learning the craft and what it can do.
I have a few ideas for something concise and fun I can do.
We shall see what 2022 leads us to.
I often say:
I have many projects up my sleeve.
It’s true.
At any given moment, I am shuffling between a handful of projects.
Not counting the many I have tidied up and shelved or as I like to think about the ‘they are on the back burner simmering.’
I had heard that this was a thing, but I hadn’t truly figured out how to embrace it until I realized I was doing it.
For any writer who dabbles in more than just one medium and one main project, there are many projects in various states.
Some are whims that grow long legs and start running off without me leaving me winded trying to keep up.
These are the ones you often end up seeing relatively as quick as they arrive into existence.
They are concise and already complete ideas that had been quietly processed for a long time without knowing it. Upon arrival, they land all ready to go and quickly set off.
These are fun, quick and often light-hearted meaningful ones.
Some are deep questions of the soul that slowly emerge and grow, allowing me to work on it over a long period.
These are the therapy-like ones where I often find myself weeping over them in both joy and sorrow. They are my teachers, and sometimes I think they exist for only just that, although don’t tell them I said that, for they would be sorely wounded and make a fuss.
Some are riveting and full worlds that grow legs and start running but are not marathoners and not yet sure about which way they are going.
These are the long-suffering heartbeat ones where I tend to overtime and keep hoping they will reveal something in which I may leverage it better.
No matter which one they tend to be, they exist and are in constant motion around and within me.
Projects, stories, concepts, documentaries, commentaries, essays, plays, they whir around me speaking about themselves and keeping them in their place is a bit of a job. I often find that I do more organizing of them than I’d like.
I tell them to sit still, and I’ll be back just as soon as I finish this application- and sure enough, one of them has wriggled free and having a complete meltdown because I hadn’t added this new revelation stumbled upon only yesterday.
Impatient toddlers, they all seem to me at times.
Yet,
this is the way of a writer of many mediums.
Sorting through the projects, adding a little bit here, a little bit there, sending one-off here and one-off there and realizing that one really does need a new wardrobe if it’s really to be taken out in public.
However you see your writing life and your ways of going about it all, I hope you see it.
It is a great and beautiful world full of emotions that I’d like to think we writers are the only ones who can honestly know it.
at my desk ‘21.
Maintaining motivation and energy for showing up to various ideas, projects, applications, and pitches does not happen without game planning.
In truth, it requires a hefty amount of margin in life to work through the bull shit that gets thrown ones way.
Expectations of oneself, from others and those bred through any industry create a complex air space for the creative mind.
What I have and continue to learn to put into practice is the art of finding fun amidst the chaos.
Protect your favourite work and create times.
For me, this is from 6am until about 1-2pm for administrative, editing, hard thinking work. This is where the craft is honed. For the creative side, I work best from 6pm - 10pm, as long as I've kept my day calm, paced out with not much going on. My energy builds up over the day, and everything pours out naturally.
I have learned that I become highly resentful when I cannot honour these times.
Find and cultivate a handful of routines that works for you.
I have learned that I work best breaking it up into four sections of four hours each on days that need the most structure (mostly Monday - Thursday). 6am-10am desk work, 10am-2pm exercise & shower etc. These sections can change in their intention but help me stay on task. Four hours of hard concentration can produce higher quality work than picking at something over a whole day.
That being said, I have also learned that there are days when I need to spread out the work for personal reasons (possibly having a child homesick that I need to attend to or, knowing that if I spread out editing, for example, I will see things with a clearer mind). On days like this, I usually lay out my tasks at my desk and on my laptop with a book or list of other things I can do in-between and allow myself to work through these things as I go about my day. In my head, this form of work and living is called "Creative Rounds."
Keep track of your musings, quotes, ideas, anything that inspires you.
Always have a notebook or list on your phone that you write things in. It sounds cliché or just plain obvious, but the truth is, inspiration hits at the oddest times, and I am learning to never discount a tiny small revelation. They can be the thread that leads to something bigger.
Don't judge your ideas.
You don't have to have it all sorted in your head at first. Odds are, if you have an idea, someone else would like that idea too. Let yourself mull it over, write about it, try it out. Over time it will form itself into something tangible.
Be okay having many projects/stories in various stages.
I was asked how many projects I have on the go or at least in fuller states in files. I was surprised to realize the number was higher than just a handful. In fact, if I was even more honest, I probably have about 15-20 well-thought ideas sitting around. That can seem daunting, lazy or even shocking, but the truth is, everything has its purpose and time. Some projects occur to teach you something, some occur to hone a craft, and others arise waiting for just the right moment and pop out and say, "Hey, it's time." let's do this.
Get comfortable revisiting your various ideas and projects every season and year to see which one needs to see more light or have more tended to.
The best books, movies, television series often have taken decades to make.
Find the incentive/challenge.
I am the queen of making a new game out of a goal. Games are best played if you want to play them. Find a goal that excites you, feels reasonable and has some challenge to it. If it excites you.
For me, this is Pitching / Applying once a month. This equals a total of twelve pitches/applications a year. In truth, this seems small to me. But in actuality, it pushes me to stay attentive, finding the next suitable opportunity, the next proper challenge and the next right exciting thing.
Treat Yourself
Always treat yourself. I have champagne in the house reserved for when I sell an idea or get a contract. Every time I get an agreement, we pop the champagne. I intentionally invest back into my business and work once a season (outside of memberships and maintenance purchases). One of those purchases this year was a screenwriting software of higher quality than the one I was using. This past season, it was a camera.
The truth is, the wind is not always going to be in your sails at any given moment, but how we position ourselves when it isn't is how successful we will be when it does hit.
Harness what works for you.
And celebrate the wins along the way.
Over the Summer, I worked alongside CBC Producer Natalie Dobbin and my good friend from high school playwright, director and writer Megan Piercey Monafu to create a three-episode series that discusses the mementos we make and carry with us.
This series is the outcome of what happens when you sit down with a good best friend from your past over video chat, catch up and discuss what is going on in each other's lives. It led us to reflect on the notes we have kept and created conversations that morphed into this beautiful three-episode series featuring not just ourselves but two other smart, intelligent, and deep women.
Over the Summer, I worked alongside CBC Producer Natalie Dobbin and my good friend from high school playwright, director and writer Megan Piercey Monafu to create a three-episode series that discusses the mementos we make and carry with us.
This series is the outcome of what happens when you sit down with a good best friend from your past over video chat, catch up and discuss what is going on in each other's lives. It led us to reflect on the notes we have kept and created conversations that morphed into this beautiful three-episode series featuring not just ourselves but two other smart, intelligent, and deep women.
Earlier this year I had a scene flash before my eyes.
It’s a famous scene. From a film called “Field of Dreams”.
In all honesty, it’s not a favourite film of mine.
For a myriad reasons and mostly because baseball and I have a heart breaking personal history.
But it’s this “Build it and they will come” concept.
The idea that to see a dream fulfilled, you need to build the space for it to be before it can live.
When this scene flashed in my minds eye, I was facing many decisions that I had the ability to make, but also felt overwhelmed at the making of them.
I felt selfish.
Who am I?
To act like I could have this?
So I pondered staying in that space, not having, not requesting, not working towards and not putting into motion.
And then that scene.
Of needing to make the investment before expecting the vision to occur.
This is where I am.
I have the vision and I am in a season of pulling triggers, setting the stage and expecting.
Expectation is an otherworldly sentiment that us adults find a way to work out of our systems.
We remind ourselves of the letdowns, the reality, the way things usually turn out, our personal limitations and we decide at some point, that expectations are not safe.
But they can be the ingredient we have been missing.
So,
I’m pulling triggers.
Investing in the visions and believing that the gift of a dream is the journey in creating it.
And you?
What triggers do you need pull?
Are their dreams that you have been sitting on and have been questioning wether you are worthy enough?
Because if you are, you are already exactly who you need to be to start putting your dreams in motion.
I adore the way Autumn arrives in Nova Scotia.
It is not an abrupt overnight happening but a slow and mindful appearance. A leaf here, a leaf there. Nights that end just a titch cooler than before, until….the evening's air kiss assures you that sweaters and thick blankets must be pulled out again.
The sun looks different in Autumn. It has a more warm gold hue when it dances on the walls. It doesn't burn, but it reminds you that it's still here. Still shining, despite the darkness that is creating shorter days.
With the arrival of Autumn and the 'back to school routine, I am rejoicing.
It means a recentering of my mind and spirit into work that I have been digging into.
Yes, there are the distractions of both good and practical things.
Friends visiting, approaching thanksgiving, and the Christmas season. Not to mention Halloween, extracurricular classes for the little, a pandemic to watch, and home projects before the winter months.
But there is also open space.
If I allow it.
Protect it.
Space to develop my filmmaking skills on a personal level with a new camera. Freedom to collaborate with a corporation I have been loving working with. Space to spin tales in the dark evenings, reflect on the year on weekend walks. Space to putter around the house while putting to order the project decisions I am being faced with.
The space is there.
But, it's genuinely, honestly, and quite realistically up to me to protect it.
There will always be someone who lays an expectation down at your feet. A circumstance to attend to, a phone call to answer, a text to reply, day to schedule, medical appointment to show up to, a chore to complete.
And the beautiful and often anxious-inducing truth is that you get to take a deep breath and decide what needs to get attended to and what is not going to serve you in the things you have to show up for.
This is an exercise in trust that there is just enough time for the things you are called for today. And for what you need to let go of in the process...there is grace for that too.
Touch the ground in the business of Autumn and say “There there, there is space and grace for you to do what you are called for in this season.”