As children, we naturally live by our values.

We live emotionally open, follow our passions, explore new ideas, and ultimately seek connection with those we love and care for.
We don't fight or argue this with ourselves.
We simply do.

Why is this so hard to do as we grow up?

Our true sense of self and our true values become intertwined with expectations, societal norms, financial constraints and ultimately 'fears'.
Fear of not being taken seriously, fear of rejection, fear of missing out, fear of losing our value.
Yet…

How much value can we genuinely hold if we are not living to the true values of our inner selves?

Begin broadly.

1. What do you value in life as a whole?

• Moving my body

• Spending time with loved ones

• Reading

• Nature

• Meaningful work

• Eating well (both for health & enjoyment)

  2. Categorize into daily, monthly, and seasonal values.

How do these values show up in your routine? Do you value reading every day or on the weekends? Do you want to be in nature once a week or just once a month? Do you have hobbies as values that may fit best into autumn? (Puzzles, dance class, baking?)

3. Expand.

Fill out your days, weeks, and seasonal categories. It helps to put all the possible values down and edit after. Often, we don’t know what we value or have as an expectation/routine for ourselves until we fully meditate on and see it all in front of us.
Other values could be: keeping up on chores, storytime with the kids, date nights, and getting to work on time.

4. Reflect and Edit

As you live out your daily/weekly values, edit along the way. See what's working and what isn't. Often we expect too much from ourselves and must be humble enough to realize we have bogged ourselves down with too many expectations, either from others or ourselves. Be realistic. How much can you fit in a day? How much can you honour during a week or month? And for what you value, you may find that you can move that value from a daily routine to something less often or vice versa. Enjoy learning about yourself along the way.

Maybe there is something you thought you valued that you don't. Perhaps you find that what you value during some parts of the year, you don't value other times. Maybe your values change depending on where you live, your job, etc. Be at peace with course correcting and making adjustments.

5. Lean into your values.

If you change them quarterly or monthly, let yourself enjoy the values you create and meditate on them daily.

*Some practical applications:
I keep a list of my daily, weekly, and seasonal (currently, it's Autumn) values in my notes app. I use it as a guide as I move throughout the day, week and month. I put a star beside the ones I have honoured, reminding me of the ones I have ignored or am realizing may not fit during this season of my life.

‘a feared & misunderstood creature of high intelligence, fierce loyalty and deep compassion’.

Not one for jewelry unless it carries meaning.

so many reasons for this necklace but the main one?
I’m claiming new territory in my life & it takes every ounce of energy to remember that this territory is already mine.

I have the stories.
I have the words.
I have the fierce wisdom.
I have the compassionate discernment.

Onwards I go.

As I have been working this year on various projects, I have been reminded of this vital concept again and again.

Holding Space is an incredible act.

It takes more grace and humbling than one can genuinely wrap one's head around.

Even when I find myself saying, "ahh, there we are, we are doing it. I am sitting in this moment holding Space for this." I am highly aware of how it is attempting to slip and change through my fingers at any time. Our egos and sense of self-importance are at constant war with the act of holding Space.

I am not sure that I am excellent at it.

But I know that I can walk away from moments with an incredible sense of wonder when I attempt it.

"Wow…what was that?"

"What went on there?"

"Something just happened, and somehow we all survived."

If I could communicate anything through this incredibly abstract concept, is this:

Holding Space is simply that. You exist at the moment you are in, and you have that moment. You look around you, feel inward, and feel outward, but your output stops or is slowed.

Instead of worrying about what to say next, how to act, or how to be, or how to react at all, you get comfortable with what is happening in front of you.

Often times this is very apparent to me when it's obvious someone is spinning out emotionally.

And let me be clear,

I recognize this because I can be this.

It's easier to recognize something in someone else that we have already been or done.

Holding Space for someone who is not acting appropriately, not comprehending their own possibly toxic behaviour (my own included) is a way to honour the hurt that is occurring in front of you, but it is also honouring the 'you' inside. To hold Space means that you can see the depth and layers of it all and recognize that although you may have triggered something and have something to learn here, the behaviour isn't about or a reflection of you.

Holding Space is the practice of taking your own self-importance and placing it on the shelf to bear witness to what is happening.

Does it mean you let abuse occur?

No.

Does it mean you relinquish your own humanity and allow someone to treat you inappropriately?

No.

Does it mean you table your own healing to stay in the pit with someone else?

No.

It means holding Space for yourself first.

If you can learn to hold Space for yourself in a holistic way, you will hold Space for others.

Hold Space for what is still broken in you.

Hold Space for the learning you still have yet to learn.

Hold Space for the dreams you are dreaming.

Hold Space for the body that you are caring for.

Hold Space for the history that made you.

Hold Space for the healing that you are working on.

Hold Space for the you that is you.

When we do this, turning it outward and holding Space for others becomes not just something we can begin to understand but a practice that we can fully take on holistically and healthily.

We bear witness to the pain and life of others because we have first bared witness to our own.

creativity is a sacred ground.

it is where the fires of change and new ways begin.
creativity has rocked my world again and again.
Pulled me apart and then reordered me stronger.
Creativity is a burning ember.
A small light at the pit of who you are.

Light it up.
Fan the flame
Let it become a roaring furnace and see what comes of it.
We were made to burn.

To create is to be made new with everything you make.
cooking, decorating, writing, building, painting, gardening, singing, composing…
to make something out of seemingly nothing.

That is a value that you can’t put a price tag on.

Two questions that will bring clarity to everyday and overall life.  
What are my individual values?  What are our collective values?

For individual life, partnership, family, work, team, projects, the importance is the same.
 

Knowing them, declaring them and keeping them at the forefront of ones mind as one makes decisions will be not only empowering, but keep the focus on what truly matters.

I enjoy the simplicity of summing up values in three points:

For Myself Individually:

- To have a balanced variety in life.
- To nourish my mind, body and soul.
- To be surrounded by what brings out the best in me.  (empowering women, ocean air, simple living, space to write.)

For Us Collectively:

- To be active in our lifestyle at home and outdoors. (cooking, creating, exploring, community eventing)
- To intentionally interact with books, music, and other story telling methods.
- To create a creative and enjoyable home atmosphere.

Coming back to these points again and again remind me how to keep it simple, honest, joy-filled and fulfilling of where I/We are supposed to be.