Forever singing over each other.  'We are diamonds, rising up out of the dust'. 

The past month has been full of challenges.  I have been and still am processing the weight that comes with wanting to 'go through it', instead of around it.  How do I journey this healthy?  How do I use these broken pieces of me and others and stitch them into something that could be healing?

Amidst the pain, a new life is born.  Our best friends are now parents and everything that is raw, tender, new and reborn has happened.  They are absolutely beautiful in their newness and the love is expanding.  We get to open our arms to more of them.  More of who they are.  Our little is witnessing what 'new' truly is.  

Amidst the pain another best friend visits.  He brings with him that grace and peace that has been hard to anchor and we are again reminded that healing is not a solo job.  Healing is a collective agreement.  Healing is a raising up of eachother. 

I woke up the next morning after his visit with those song lyrics "You Make Me Brave" in my mind.  

We are called to embolden each other.  We are called to enter into each others pain and questions.  We are called to hash it out in the safety of acceptance of one another.  Without that safety, we cannot heal.  

I had so easily forgotten.

This was my calling too.  

Over any of the doubts I carry personally and professionally. 

That I seek to create a safe place for collective healing.  For myself.  For others.

& it's in that healing that courage and bravery is found. 

Tender moments with Uncle and this new little life.  

Childs Pose

I've been learning these past ten years that my vulnerability is what makes me not only stronger, but courageous and real.  Being vulnerable is a refining process and with every step out in bravery that I have taken has lead me here.  I wouldn't trade those risks, those times of despair, heart aches, disappointments or lessons learned for the comfort of staying in my seat.

I feel deeply, I live deeply and because of that, I believe I am called to be deeply vulnerable.  
Even when, I would rather not. 

As I cancelled an event I deeply wanted to see happen, I cracked open Brené Browns book "Rising Strong" and began to read her opening pages.  The timing of reading her words was inspired and I believe I was kept from reading this book until now.  Because now is when I needed it.

"I want to be in the arena.  I want to be brave with my life.  And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked.  We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can't have both.  Not at the same time.
Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.  Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage." - Brené Brown  
 

So, I poured coffee this morning after doing yoga with my almost two year old, cracked open my journal and began to write about how I am still in this.  That being vulnerable and falling is part of this whole process.

I am here and working on these projects for a purpose and that purpose isn't defined or decided by a simple cancelation, or words of critique.  My job is stay grounded, stay on the surf board and ride the wave.  

I choose courage.  I choose vulnerability.