I started writing a blog on blogspot in 2010 called 'intentionally Amy'.  

I posted on it weekly and through that routine I found a renewed passion for writing.  

My writing and my voice was something that my education in ASL/English Interpreting took from me (I don't say that lightly). As a very young twenty-something I knew my voice mattered but I struggled to find it amidst the rules, the circumstances and the professional boundaries that I was now confined in. 

I needed to find, at least, my written words again.  Somehow.

Blogging became that way for me to to find my words and inadvertently, connect with living a more 'intentional' lifestyle, something I craved.

As the years progressed, I learned that not only my words mattered but my voice did too.  

I made the scary realization that the profession I chose was one that overall, discouraged my young voice and where I often found myself in positions where the rights of others, including myself, were being not only ignored but pushed aside.  

(that being said, I do want to add that towards the end of my short interpreting career I was developing a great relationship with my then, current boss & a few very wonderful mentors whom I know would have continued supporting my growth in the profession.)

Looking back, I can recognize that in certain circumstances, even as an individual providing a service, I deserved to know that I had autonomy and a voice in the situations I was in, despite being just 'a conduit for communication'.

It has been having a blog space that has allowed me to find my voice in a quiet and yet public manner.  

It hasn't always and still won't always be as eloquent or as thought out as I would like, but blogs have a way of delivering the honest state of a person and I am empowered by that.  To read the honest states' of others and to have a moment to discover my own place in this world.

It's a privilege.  

It's a privilege to have had that tiny little blog which turned into this website format where I can explore my creative and performance projects in a public and yet collected manner. 

I continue to blog as a consistent way for me to conintue my output and growth.  Consistency is important even when we don't feel like it, even when it sucks.

I will always be maintaining a blog because it is a habit that continues my work, my creativity and also in honouring my own unique voice.

Danielle Doiron - Actor, Performer soaking in the salt ocean air.

The Creatives began with a few women I knew & a few women Jasmine Alexander knew.  It was a meet up that multiplied overtime.  

As seasons do, they change and many of these women, including Jasmine Alexander moved away a couple years ago.  Being in the throws of new motherhood I decided to take a break from arranging these meet ups. 

But I find myself missing that simple excuse to connect with other women and create space for inspiration, collaboration and solidarity. 

So here we are back again.

This meet up was an impactful gathering of three.

It proved the point for me, that no matter the size, the location or the reason, anytime women gather to connect and appreciate each other is a time where solidarity and compassion resides.

During this meet up:

We reconnected, deep dived and snacked on food while the temperature dropped.  We chased a seagull, expressed thankfulness for one another and encouraged each other to keep going.

Keep doing.

Keep showing up.

Keep being you.

& that is why these Meet Ups, big or small will continue!

Until Autumn,

- Amy

Rachel Fricker, Amy Grace, Danielle Doiron

Coming out of our first of a few planned small vacations / staycations I have been refreshed.

I stumbled onto a moment that triggered me to remember a moment almost four years back.  I took a moment to sit down on my regular walk in a little alcove that always seems a bit too magical for the everyday routine.  

As I sat down and looked around me I was reminded of the day that created me to write this: 
 "Wellness Wednesday: Captivation"

"Open your eyes today, this week, this month.  Keep ready for a moment that captivates you, and sink into it.  Sink deep into the waters of your spirit.  Listen to it.  What is the whisper that tries so hard to cry out?"

It is so easy to let the pressures of what we want to see happen, what you thought would happen, what you dream of and how it turns out differently, or even when you are left with nothing to hold on to be the filter in which we perceive our lives. 

Yet when I look at this moment that happened years ago and what I know of now, what I didn't know then.  What I have now, what I didn't have then.  What I lost, what I gained... it all is a captivating and arresting truth...

So I am going into this Summer with my eyes open, personally and especially professionally at what captivates me.  Taking those truths and moving them forward one small action at a time. 

My real work is to stay open to the journey and keep my eyes open to what is around me. 

Attentive. 

What captivates me today?

Deep conversations with creative women.

Raw and exciting story telling with authentic humour that leaks out of it.  

Trying new ideas and learning along the way. 

In January I made this statement:

"Focusing on excellence in my work, my choices and my lifestyle ideals are what is forefront in my mind as I journey into this next year..."

How has this played out?

IN THE PROFESSIONAL

I have been in the process of levelling up in my work quality.  I have created a few pieces that surprised me and they are in various stages of development.  I have also had to learn what it means to say no.  To have to stand up for myself in a professional setting shook me up.  It reminded me of my values, of what I will and will not work towards.  It reminded me of why I do what I do and what type of writer that makes me.  In essence, excellence might look a bit like having a strong sense of self tied directly to my professional being.

IN THE PERSONAL

I have a better sense of where I want my energy to be poured out in my family, my friends and my community.  I have a better sense of what I can be giving and it has created some clarity over the past few months.  Attending our local church has allowed me to truly sink into creating deeper relationships with people who live near us.  It has been an anchor and given me space to inhale and exhale while connecting with family, friends and anyone else who crosses my path.

OVERALL

This half of the year hasn't been easy by any means, but it has developed in me a sense of strength and discernment in situations that are beyond me.  I have been reminded of Who made me, Why I am driven to create and What makes me unique.  Striving for excellence has never been about prerfection, but about truly understanding who I am, what I can fully bring to the table and how I can serve. 

Learning the craft of writing for film & television is a journey.
I still am in the process of attending workshops, studying up, and surrounding myself with like minded people. 

Let's be honest.  

I am doing all of this while being the primary caregiver of a three year old.  It's not as if this journey is going to be completed in a season or two.  

What I am learning so much of right now, is that giving myself grace and space to learn, grow and be inspired is of the upmost importance.  

Grace to not have it all figured out, and the space to take as much time as I need to get there. 

What I have accomplished so far :

- Written and continuing to work on various drafts of the pilot and series pitch of a television series that I alone created.  I have done this with the previous and continual help of various women who are also excited by the concept. (That in itself is amazing!!!!) 

- Written a short film that accurately displays the type of female characters that I am known for writing.  That displays my love of womanhood, friendship and humour. 

I think at this point, to get this far has been a considerable feat and I shouldn't downplay it no matter how I may feel when I look around at the various women slaying their hustle.

 I too, have been doing amazing things.

Here is to the continuation and development of much more!

I am going to level with you.

I am not out to be the next hit Canadian performance.

I think, that itself as the goal, distracts from the whole point of it. 

The pressures we allow to be put on ourselves internally and externally are insurmountable.  They sit on us and tell us how unworthy we are and how our attempts are always going to pale in comparison to anothers.

Here it is:

I want to be so focused on honing my craft, creating true and resonating pieces of work that the distractions fall away.  That I surround myself with what I need to be empowered enough to press in and keep on carving away at something I truly believe in.

I am pursuing characters whom I truly love and adore.  I am their advocate and their biggest champion.  I want to see them breathe in the mediums I have chosen for them and I remain hard at work bringing them into the place they need to be.

That is what it's about.  Not the recognition, not the networking, the support or the lack thereof.  It's about the voices that have been given life through the work and whom made it past the cutting room floor into a place of story. 
 

Getting in the right mindset is essential for me.

Our minds can play the leading role in our day to day and they say it's an 18 inch journey from our heads to our hearts.  

18 inches.

So I only have to travel those 18 inches to get my head and heart aligned together.  

I am very much aware of the disconnect.  I see it in myself, in others and in the world around me.  To do real soul seeking, story unearthing work, I want to be malleable.  Capable of being vulnerable enough to travel the distance from my head and heart and back again without bumping up against my own ego.

And I will.  Bump into my ego.  We all do.  Our ego is our best and worst friend.  It likes to tell us we are right and we know all there is to know here. 

As a trained interpreter I know all too well the 'interpreter-ego' who sits beside me and rolls her eyes at the things people say and their contradicting body language.  Or the way in which what people are avoiding in showing comes out so clearly through their body.  

But the truth is, it's what I studied and what I was trained up to recognize but it isn't fact.  Not in the punitive sense. 

What is fact, is the inner soul journey a person is going through and even then, that is their own reality.  Their own personal journey from their head and heart and back again.  Be it distorted or aligned with the majority.

For me, this all comes back to mindset.

A mindset & heart set

I want my mind AND my heart to be communicating with eachother to bring me to where I need to be in my work and personal life.

It's an 18 inch journey they say, but I think it takes more than just a hop skip and a jump.  I think it takes a desire and a courage that works past what we thought we knew and works towards a more whole and empathetic experience.  For our individual self and for others.

This Sunday I presented a short piece that I was commissioned to write for a Sunday morning service.

Attending Bedford Baptist Church has been a nice shift for our little family.  To attend a church in our own community is new for us and we love how connected it is making us feel. 

'She Is', in my mind, an attempt to capture the life stages of women and present them with varying degrees of perspective.  It's easy to look at youth, middle aged and senior and leave it at that. But what happens when we truly look at a woman in each stage at all angles?

Depth.

In this little piece I attempted at showing the varying depths of a woman.  I was blessed to have  five women stand as representation while leaving an empty chair representing the indigenous women who have been missing figuratively and literally from our societal conversation. 

Even after presenting this, it is not lost on me that I could only present a limited amount of angles on women and there were and still are so many more I could have touched on.  

This piece has me meditating on that depth that is seen and unseen.  We are programmed to see something in others because we personally decide that is what we are seeing based on our own life experiences.  But there is always more.  More we don't know, can't know and won't know unless we get closer and ask each other, spark conversation and dare to get more intimate with one another.  Relationship with eachother, especially as women is, I believe, the main way we find solidarity and peace within ourselves.

Something clicked just over a month ago.  

I can and should have multiple different projects on the go in various stages of development at all times. 

This has been true for me at different times in my work, but never intentional.

It hit me while sitting and listening to women in the storytelling industry.

It is normal and in fact, part of the creative industry to be multitasking with various projects.

You see, that is not in my nature.  I am a multi-tasker in my day sure, but not in how I live my overall life.  If I want to do anything, I am guns blazing from start to finish.  I want to start at the beginning and get to the end, as fast as I possibly can.  

That is not how it works in the theatre, film and television industry.  

It takes Months.  Seasons.  YEARS even.

This realization is blowing my mind and still a challenge to comprehend.

At this point, all I can truly say, is that I am learning how to be more comfortable and capable with balancing this reality.  Having four projects this season seems daunting and overwhelming and yet, it also seems absolutely possible and motivating. 

As my awareness and understanding of how this works develops for me I will definitely be documenting and sharing my process and learning.  

Until then,

With various projects I go....

Thank-God for Spring!  Everything comes up new.

And that is exactly how it feels professionally for me right now.

Attending Women Making Waves 2018 was a reminder that my courage and ambition are rightly placed and well timed.  That my projects have merit and my stories have a voice.

Since that conference I have embraced what it looks like to be a professional writer in the performance industries.  It means a lot of hard and well though out solo work.  A lot of applications, a lot of socializing and finding those whom click with your own work ethic and values.  

It means patience, perseverance, and a lot of play time.

This Spring:

I anticipate announcing a few new and exciting projects.

Introducing new and inspiring women via Spotlight posts.

Continuing to share my learned experiencing in life and work.

"My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive, and to do so some passion, some compassion, some humour and some style." - Maya Angelou

It's no secret that I carry my Bullet Journal close to get me through my days and ADORE sitting down to plan a fresh week.  But the truth is, I do it for the sanity.  For the ability to juggle my personal and professional life. 

Planning for a new week takes me from mid Friday to Sunday night.  If I am blessed to have an open stretch of time then it might only take me one day, but non the less, to have sanity I carve out the time despite how busy a weekend may be to plan the new week to come. 

How?

1. Schedule the dailys.

Chores, exercise, and hygiene/beauty regimen all get scheduled in without question.  A clean home, ability to move my body and take care of my physical/emotional self are high values for me.  I make them a priority.  

2. Ink in the meetings/events/appointments.

Being that I am the main care giver for my almost three year old and a writer for theatre, film & television, any event, work meeting, appointment and child care has to be planned ahead and chosen wisely.  I know my point of exausthion and do my best to make sure that I rarely hit it so that I can always be giving my daughter, colleagues friends and family the best and healthiest version of myself.  This also means that every week looks different from the next.  Scheduling can feel like a game of chess at times.

3. Empty inboxes & links saved.

I am a huge fan of starting the week with a fresh inbox, knowing that I have dealt with the weeks correspondence and along with that, any links that I have saved to be read, watched or looked into are carefully minimized and put in folders such as "Professional Development".

4. Update budget, groceries, meal plan, etc.

Being wise with our finances, and eating healthy whole foods are values of our little family.  This means we have to make a weekly effort to prepare for the week to come.  It is all to easy to buy cheap processed food and buy needlessly.  Taking the time to review our spending and financial goals once a week along with what recipes we want to make has helped us hugely in maintaining our financial and physical wellness. 

5. Pre set rooms, technology and laundry for Monday.

Nothing says it's a new week better than fresh sheets on the bed, laundry washed and folded and phones and laptops charged and cleaned.  (I have a habit of working while eating a snack or dinner and I ALWAYS end up with a dirty screen and keyboard by weeks end)

This may seem excessive to some, but for my personality, whom thrives on maintaining my inner and outer expectations, this routine not only ensures that I maintain my own contentment but also my follow through with that and those I commit to.  

Week Planning is the foundation of my personal and professional life.

Over the weekend I attended the Women in Film and Television Atlantics (WIFT-AT) yearly conference 'Women Making Waves' at the Lord Nelson Hotel in Halifax.  

I attended last years' due to being accepting into the New Waves Program where WIFT-AT accepts emerging and exploring film-makers into a five class workshop series.  Needless to say, I LOVED it.

Since the New Waves program I have been working to hone and focus my writing into the performing arts (learning screenplay writing and culture etc) and it was exciting to attend this years conference knowing that my projects and visions were even more aligned with the industry.

 Re-connecting with peers, hearing from other creators and celebrating the work that comes out of women who are aiming to collaborate, work, and essentially make a difference through their medium of passion was the refresh I so desperately needed.

It was hugely inspiring to be able to hear from Carmillas co-creator Steph Ouaknine, Mohwak Girls Creator and director Tracy Deer, Ava creator and director Sadaf Foroughi and 'Bens at Home' creator and director Mars Horodyski about how they created, were impassioned to pursue their work and how they pushed through to get them where they are today.

This weekend I learned these things:

1. Keep showing up for your work and always put it out there.

2. What you are passionate about has a niche.

3. Find that niche and hone it.

4. Work with those whom you click with.

5. Know why you do it. 

6. Anyone who attempts truth telling is extrodinarily brave.

I am so thankful for the journey I am on and the opportunities I have along the way that connect me with passionate women, remind me of why I do what I do and keep my feet planted on the ground. 

The first official working date with Kirstin Howell (the most quotable woman I know.)

Who you let around you will have a tremendous impact on how you view yourself and your world.

When moments of uncertainty occur I like to say I have a tribe of empowering, impactful and inspiring women in my back pocket (a.k.a. my iPhone) that I can call on to come around me when I need that support and that push. 

Know your team.

Personal and Professional.

The Personal Team

The personal team are going to be your safe place, the people who know you intimately and know the difference between you needing to wallow and you needing to be smacked up the side of the head (figuratively speaking). They share your values and they know how to speak to your view on life.

The Professional Team

Are those whom you know want you to succeed and keep at your work.  They are the people who know your work and your values and respect you deeply.  These are also people who should be challenging you routinely in normal causal conversation and giving you inspiration and ideas. These are the people you take notes from and also listen to because you know they have your back.

Both of these Teams work together to make a great cohesive support group and keep you going and keep you striving and thriving. 

Because of these amazing team members I have stuck my neck out more than just a time or two and sometimes,

I find that experience has left me enriched and utterly fulfilled. 

This room has been a work in progress.  As a family, we call it "The Creative Room".  Personally, I call it "My writers room".  This is where I write, muse and make it all happen.

DESK

This desk was a labour of love for me.  I saved for two years to be able to afford it.  I saw it on Pinterest one day and promised myself that I would find a way to buy it.  I adore it's simplicity and it's ability to store my materials.

TROLLY

Another Pinterest find, I noticed that many bloggers were using this IKEA trolly for their art supplies.  IKEA was not yet in Halifax, Nova Scotia at the time so I again, had to set aside the money for shipping (which can be absolutely ridiculous considering the cost or sale of an item) Currently it holds all of Z's creative supplies I am okay with her having anytime access to. (markers etc are stored on shelf)

CHAIR

From IKEA.  My family blessed me recently this year with the perfect chair support.  Being that I have a unique desk, chairs have been hard to match with it.  This chair is perfect for my back, trendy, comfortable and has the adjustable height I need.

POSTERS

From the two shows I have written and produced.  Hanging them above my work space is a reminder that I have written impactful work, that I am capable of excelling and improving with each project and that it is worth the work it takes.  I am incredibly proud of what I have accomplished and I think we should all aim to encourage one another in the dreams and visions we aspire to.  

ACCESSORIES

Twinkle lights, photos of my best friends, a hidden 'Peter Rabbit 'A'' from my mom, a vintage key, a soft mat for my feet, a compass for Grace, seasonal scented candle  are all elements that create an atmosphere for me that boost me, motivate me and embolden me,.  

 

Part of my job as a writer is to be okay with the parts in-between. 

In truth, I am not the biggest fan of waiting.  Of editing, of asking, of risking.  Can't someone else do that for me?  

Maybe one day, I'll have a life where I can just sit and focus on the creation and let others deal with the 'making-it-have-a-life-off-the-page' stage, but for now, I have to be a leader in that process.  Which means facing fears and being okay with the waiting.

So I wrote a letter to myself over the application I am waiting to hear about.  Knowing I should have an answer soon, the anxiety is rising.  What will I do If I don't get the money I asked for to do this?  What will I do if I don't feel that the association I believe is my only chance, doesn't believe in me?  

And thats when I heard it.

You celebrate. 

You celebrate if you got the funding, and celebrate if you didn't.  Because in the end, it's not about where the funding comes from, it's about the fact that I did something.  I tried.  I put together the best proposal I could, and I know that what I have to offer is worthy despite the results.  

I celebrate either way.  Because I didn't just sit and wish, I got up and I risked failure and I risked disappointment.  

That is worth celebrating as much as any perceived success.

A conversation with another woman writer put it all out on the table.  A woman who weaves words and intellect with ease and precision.  A woman who crafts excellence in her speech in a way I am left in awe.

How goals, inspiration and lifestyle are intertwined as one.

With the Seasons

We have rythms and flows to our years, our internal sense of self and the atmosphere around us.  Setting goals/aspirations that match these rhythms will not only empower us to embrace the now, but to belong in tempo with the life around us.

For me: Once a week family skates, balanced meals in the duration of the week

With the Growth

We often , upon reflection can sense how we have grown and where we want to grow next.  To take pause and reflect gives us time to identify these things and to grow is a beautiful thing.  Although painful and at times difficult, our growth allows us to embrace a journey that ultimately delivers peace and joy.  We were made to grow every day more into who we were made to be.

For me: To attend more workshop opportunities and industry events, to keep a prayer journal

With the Inspirations

Individualistic tendances to be moved by different elements.  What inspires one, may not inspire another.  To be moved by something is a good indication that one is aching to discover more of what that element is.  Enjoy the discovery!

For me: To explore morning and evening rituals, continue curating and creating a balanced diet with various meals and dining experiences.

Our inidivual ways in which we find ourselves within our growth continues the ability to evolve and become whole. 

I love this because it is as unique to me as it is unique to you.  

Find what works for you and embrace your growth. 

COURAGE

Any creative driven person knows that in order to be creative, one has to have a certain amount of courage.

Especially in the culture and society we live in today, we are only honoured in our work as creatives if we have done something spectacular and are known for it.   It can be daunting to take the time away from the other aspects of life to 'create', let alone try to tell ourselves and others that we have something worth saying/showing.

THE BATTLE

It's an unspoken truth amongst creatives that in order for us to create we must prepare and go into battle despite our fears in order to get to our creative inspiration.  Some days, this is easier than others.  Other days, this is an uphill battle  

Sounds dramatic, but it remains true.  

From a personal experience, I can say that if I am working on anything and making anything it means that my discipline and my courage are in full use. 
 

HOW?

IDENTIFY FEAR EXISTS

I acknowledge that fear wants to drive me and then I don't give it space to.  I say no to negative people, thinking, music anything that brings up dread and self-doubt.  I shut it down and focus on the calling. 

KNOW MY FLOW

I work when I know I am in my best energy.  For me, early morning and early evening.  If I am working, I block off time to transition from my other roles.  I cant simply go from handling a screaming toddler to writing my next best scene.  I have to allow my heart, spirit and mind to align themselves and this needs time.

STAY IN CONTACT WITH BOLSTERING PEOPLE

Whenever I am about to go into creative battle, I message my best friends.  I tell them I am about to battle and am going to accomplish these specific creative tasks and I know they are covering me with prayer, support and often send me those little emojis, words, images I needed.  And they do because they are warriors themselves. 

SET THE ATMOSPHERE

Atmosphere is one of my biggest motivators.  The right playlist the right beverage, the right outfit, lighting and I can sit keeping the creative oil burning for longer than my bladder wants to hold itself.

INSPIRATIONS

Surrounding myself with inspirations.  Media that is empowering, articles fo other women like me doing it, images from the internet that encapsulate a feeling I am trying to grasp.  The right desktop wallpaper... I find it everything that surrounds me.

STANDING MY GROUND

The truth is, when I am working on a project, I am highly suseptable to the negativity of others and the world around me.  I am working double time to quell that fear on my shoulder to have courage enough to write and when I feel that negative presence, be it a persons outlook, an expectation, passive aggressive behaviour, a negative article, facebook rants, or even just my own battle with resentment I will run in the other direction.  Figuratively and spiritually I see it as running and taking my imaginary pen in my hand and striking the ground and saying "NO!  I am capable.  I am strong, I can do this and I have a calling to do this and that negativity is not from the One who made me." 

It's like working double time, but what comes out of pressing in and pursuing the call is a strength and joy I absolutely need and want more of in my life.  That is why I stand my ground.  

 

One thing I have constantly followed and believed in life, is that each step takes care of itself.

It's that realizing that God has my deepest dreams and visions in the palm of His hands and that I am called to dream deep, stay open to the depth I need to access and trust that as I journey through life the steps will become clear as I explore.

A week from today I will be experiencing the first reading of my first pilot episode for television.  Still early stages and this feels important.  It will be the first of the script coming alive and although I know that this project has many hurdles, steps and metamorphosis to take before it finds it's place in this world, this is a step that will teach me and mold me.

No matter what life this project has, it does not determine the calling.  I trust that the life of this project will breathe and pass on when it's time has come.  

I trust that this next step will be another step in the long journey to come.

I am so thankful to have a writing and creative partner in Kirstin Howell and I am thankful that taking that leap of faith to apply for training from WIFT-AT has brought me where I am today. 

One step at a time.

Over the next weeks I will spending hours pouring over what worked this year and what didn't work.  Business, creativity and delivery is constantly shifting.  2017 has been a ton of learning and stepping into an industry as a writer I would not have deemed possible.  

But here I am.  Building my tribe, finding the collaborators and finding the avenues in which my writing can thrive.  

Part of the vision planning is doing a complete website change.  This means byamygrace will be shut down for the month of December and will be returning in January with a fresh new take that will match the current work I have stepped into.  

This is the exciting stuff.  The set up for launching into 2018.  The quiet calm before the storm.  A beautiful storm.