at my desk ‘21.

Maintaining motivation and energy for showing up to various ideas, projects, applications, and pitches does not happen without game planning.

In truth, it requires a hefty amount of margin in life to work through the bull shit that gets thrown ones way.

Expectations of oneself, from others and those bred through any industry create a complex air space for the creative mind.

What I have and continue to learn to put into practice is the art of finding fun amidst the chaos.

Protect your favourite work and create times.

For me, this is from 6am until about 1-2pm for administrative, editing, hard thinking work. This is where the craft is honed. For the creative side, I work best from 6pm - 10pm, as long as I've kept my day calm, paced out with not much going on. My energy builds up over the day, and everything pours out naturally.

I have learned that I become highly resentful when I cannot honour these times.

Find and cultivate a handful of routines that works for you.

I have learned that I work best breaking it up into four sections of four hours each on days that need the most structure (mostly Monday - Thursday). 6am-10am desk work, 10am-2pm exercise & shower etc. These sections can change in their intention but help me stay on task. Four hours of hard concentration can produce higher quality work than picking at something over a whole day.

That being said, I have also learned that there are days when I need to spread out the work for personal reasons (possibly having a child homesick that I need to attend to or, knowing that if I spread out editing, for example, I will see things with a clearer mind). On days like this, I usually lay out my tasks at my desk and on my laptop with a book or list of other things I can do in-between and allow myself to work through these things as I go about my day. In my head, this form of work and living is called "Creative Rounds."

Keep track of your musings, quotes, ideas, anything that inspires you.

Always have a notebook or list on your phone that you write things in. It sounds cliché or just plain obvious, but the truth is, inspiration hits at the oddest times, and I am learning to never discount a tiny small revelation. They can be the thread that leads to something bigger.

Don't judge your ideas.

You don't have to have it all sorted in your head at first. Odds are, if you have an idea, someone else would like that idea too. Let yourself mull it over, write about it, try it out. Over time it will form itself into something tangible.

Be okay having many projects/stories in various stages.

I was asked how many projects I have on the go or at least in fuller states in files. I was surprised to realize the number was higher than just a handful. In fact, if I was even more honest, I probably have about 15-20 well-thought ideas sitting around. That can seem daunting, lazy or even shocking, but the truth is, everything has its purpose and time. Some projects occur to teach you something, some occur to hone a craft, and others arise waiting for just the right moment and pop out and say, "Hey, it's time." let's do this.

Get comfortable revisiting your various ideas and projects every season and year to see which one needs to see more light or have more tended to.

The best books, movies, television series often have taken decades to make.

Find the incentive/challenge.

I am the queen of making a new game out of a goal. Games are best played if you want to play them. Find a goal that excites you, feels reasonable and has some challenge to it. If it excites you.

For me, this is Pitching / Applying once a month. This equals a total of twelve pitches/applications a year. In truth, this seems small to me. But in actuality, it pushes me to stay attentive, finding the next suitable opportunity, the next proper challenge and the next right exciting thing.

Treat Yourself

Always treat yourself. I have champagne in the house reserved for when I sell an idea or get a contract. Every time I get an agreement, we pop the champagne. I intentionally invest back into my business and work once a season (outside of memberships and maintenance purchases). One of those purchases this year was a screenwriting software of higher quality than the one I was using. This past season, it was a camera.

The truth is, the wind is not always going to be in your sails at any given moment, but how we position ourselves when it isn't is how successful we will be when it does hit.

Harness what works for you.

And celebrate the wins along the way.

Here is the playlist for Autumn 2021

Evidence | Josh Baldwin Dante Bowe

Early 2020 brought a hurricane of hardships, all of which I am still working to heal from. Placing the pandemic on top of these 'elements’ meant that I became numb to a lot of life, despite what it may have looked like. Dante Bowe’s voice cuts through so much of that feeling of being numb and has been a key to feeling the blessings that have all unfolded, because of, despite of and even so over the past two years.
This song has become an anchor.

Once Upon Another Time | Sara Bareilles

Sara’s songwriting will always be something I return to again and again. We can’t go back to who we were when we were younger or ‘before’ any one thing. But we can remember and harness that freedom. Something I attempt to do daily.

NDA | Billie Eilish

On a more edgy side of musicality and songwriting, Billie brings us one of the most impressive music videos of the day with NDA. With her new album she has found a very raw and edgy way to reveal the patriarchy and the havoc it can create. If you know anything about film production you will instantly see what type of guts, drive and dedication this woman has to her craft.

*Billie shared footage of BTS to show that yes, these were real cars that were speeding past her. A blocking and production feat.

Over the Summer, I worked alongside CBC Producer Natalie Dobbin and my good friend from high school playwright, director and writer Megan Piercey Monafu to create a three-episode series that discusses the mementos we make and carry with us.

This series is the outcome of what happens when you sit down with a good best friend from your past over video chat, catch up and discuss what is going on in each other's lives. It led us to reflect on the notes we have kept and created conversations that morphed into this beautiful three-episode series featuring not just ourselves but two other smart, intelligent, and deep women.

What We Carry With Us

Episode 1.

Episode 2.

Episode 3.

Catherine House | Elisabeth Thomas

This book fed my need for a ‘ boarding school’ themed read. A fascination I have had since childhood. Catherine House poses mysteries, darkness, and implies a lot with not all of it being made clear. For me, the enjoyment in this read was in the atmosphere, theme and descriptions.

The Paris Library | Janet Skeslien Charles

I was not as impressed with this book, but I do not think that is a true reflection on how good it may or may not be. I think I have had my fill of World War I & II themes. Following a woman who is passionate about books, the library she works at, and protecting the patrons that borrows them we get a unique birds eye view of what staying in France during the war may have been like.

Winnie the Pooh | A.A. Milne

Read aloud to our daughter over the past few months we laughed and laughed over each chapter. As a writer I have a deeper appreciation for the beautiful character and world building in this sweet little novel. If you have not read A.A Milne, I urge you, the experience will not disappoint.
I may have cried while reading the last few pages.

FILMS / TV SERIES OF NOTE

The Good Place S01 - Rewatched because the plot twists and true depths are solid gold.
A Simple Favour - because the film stayed with me longer than the book & it’s the perfect mystery watch featuring fabulous women.
Physical - Apple TV has some home runs. Highlighting a woman struggling with eating disorders and finding something that is more healing than her disorder.
The Great Canadian Baking Show S03 - because watching this as a family brings us so much joy…& hungry bellies.

Over the Summer, I worked alongside CBC Producer Natalie Dobbin and my good friend from high school playwright, director and writer Megan Piercey Monafu to create a three-episode series that discusses the mementos we make and carry with us.

This series is the outcome of what happens when you sit down with a good best friend from your past over video chat, catch up and discuss what is going on in each other's lives. It led us to reflect on the notes we have kept and created conversations that morphed into this beautiful three-episode series featuring not just ourselves but two other smart, intelligent, and deep women.

What We Carry With Us

Episode 1.

Episode 2.

After two long years of a pandemic, it was a relief to stand alongside a woman who has known me for over a decade. These past two years have been chock-full of changes and situations that have thrown us all for a loop.

Being that we share a love of food and wine, a visit to wine country in Nova Scotia together seemed fitting. We packed our sweaters, music and all the topics we had not yet talked about and set off for a two-day adventure.

Walking along the rows of vines of one vineyard, I couldn’t help thinking about how deep friendships, despite weather and circumstances, are much like the grapes grown for wine. They take in the life, events and atmosphere of the world around them.

Over the years, I have learned and understood that grapes are highly affected by weather, nature, and the specific location they are grown. The wine made from the grapes is often characterized by the place the grapes are grown and how they are treated.

So too are these friendships that have been given beautiful and redemptive space to breathe.

Friendships can display a unique character and quality from the atmospheres they have grown into and out of. And as wine gets better with age, so too, in my opinion, does dear friends.

Although we only visited two vineyards, we got our fill of the beauty and tastes of our province, conversation and time to exist beside each other.

And despite the fact that currently, ours is a friendship of long distance, the idea that we will continue to reflect the character of our environments, experiences, passions of ourselves while also becoming something better, bolder, and of more fullness is something that gives me deep appreciation, excitement and thrill for what has yet to come.

Over the Summer, I worked alongside CBC Producer Natalie Dobbin and my good friend from high school playwright, director and writer Megan Piercey Monafu to create a three-episode series that discusses the mementos we make and carry with us.

This series is the outcome of what happens when you sit down with a good best friend from your past over video chat, catch up and discuss what is going on in each other's lives. It led us to reflect on the notes we have kept and created conversations that morphed into this beautiful three-episode series featuring not just ourselves but two other smart, intelligent, and deep women.

What We Carry With Us

Episode 1.

‘a feared & misunderstood creature of high intelligence, fierce loyalty and deep compassion’.

Not one for jewelry unless it carries meaning.

so many reasons for this necklace but the main one?
I’m claiming new territory in my life & it takes every ounce of energy to remember that this territory is already mine.

I have the stories.
I have the words.
I have the fierce wisdom.
I have the compassionate discernment.

Onwards I go.

Earlier this year I had a scene flash before my eyes.

It’s a famous scene. From a film called “Field of Dreams”.
In all honesty, it’s not a favourite film of mine.
For a myriad reasons and mostly because baseball and I have a heart breaking personal history.

But it’s this “Build it and they will come” concept.
The idea that to see a dream fulfilled, you need to build the space for it to be before it can live.

When this scene flashed in my minds eye, I was facing many decisions that I had the ability to make, but also felt overwhelmed at the making of them.

I felt selfish.
Who am I?
To act like I could have this?

So I pondered staying in that space, not having, not requesting, not working towards and not putting into motion.

And then that scene.

Of needing to make the investment before expecting the vision to occur.

This is where I am.

I have the vision and I am in a season of pulling triggers, setting the stage and expecting.

Expectation is an otherworldly sentiment that us adults find a way to work out of our systems.

We remind ourselves of the letdowns, the reality, the way things usually turn out, our personal limitations and we decide at some point, that expectations are not safe.

But they can be the ingredient we have been missing.

So,

I’m pulling triggers.

Investing in the visions and believing that the gift of a dream is the journey in creating it.

And you?

What triggers do you need pull?

Are their dreams that you have been sitting on and have been questioning wether you are worthy enough?

Because if you are, you are already exactly who you need to be to start putting your dreams in motion.

The Soulmate Equation | Christina Lauren

A fun lighthearted vacation rom-com speed read of an owner of a dating app and a woman in her thirties trying hard not to look for love. It’s exactly what you think with a hint of something ‘sci fi’.

Dear Ijeawele, Or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions | Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

It’s a small but impactful read that blew me away. Originally I picked it up from the library, but I will be buying this to re-read over the years while raising my daughter.

Seven Stones to Stand or Fall | Diana Gabaldon

A collection of Diana’s filler ‘buldges’ as she refers to them of various characters from the outlander series.

All Along You Were Blooming | Morgan Harper Nichols

Morgan Harper is one of my most favorite writers today. She has found a creative way to use words and imagery to heal herself, others, and anyone that comes across her work.

Burnout. The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle | Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski

This book blew my mind in so many ways. I first heard these sisters in an interview and was rocked by their work behind laying out the hormonal release that occurs in the body during stress. Their explanation of stress and how it manifests was in direct correlation with my personal experiences. I knew I had to read this book. After returning it to the library I still felt that I hadn’t had enough time with it. I will definitely be picking up a copy for my own future reference.

TV Series / Films of Note

Gilmore Girls S01 - Because when the air turns crisp, it’s time for coffee and the Gilmores.
Good on Paper - Because Iliza tells this story off and on, and it’s even wilder to take in as a film.
Ted Lasso S02 - Because Ted is everything good, healing, and warm that this world lacks, with a healthy dose of real trauma shown amidst the smiles.

I adore the way Autumn arrives in Nova Scotia.

It is not an abrupt overnight happening but a slow and mindful appearance. A leaf here, a leaf there. Nights that end just a titch cooler than before, until….the evening's air kiss assures you that sweaters and thick blankets must be pulled out again.

The sun looks different in Autumn. It has a more warm gold hue when it dances on the walls. It doesn't burn, but it reminds you that it's still here. Still shining, despite the darkness that is creating shorter days.

With the arrival of Autumn and the 'back to school routine, I am rejoicing.

It means a recentering of my mind and spirit into work that I have been digging into.

Yes, there are the distractions of both good and practical things.

Friends visiting, approaching thanksgiving, and the Christmas season. Not to mention Halloween, extracurricular classes for the little, a pandemic to watch, and home projects before the winter months.

But there is also open space.

If I allow it.

Protect it.

Space to develop my filmmaking skills on a personal level with a new camera. Freedom to collaborate with a corporation I have been loving working with. Space to spin tales in the dark evenings, reflect on the year on weekend walks. Space to putter around the house while putting to order the project decisions I am being faced with.

The space is there.

But, it's genuinely, honestly, and quite realistically up to me to protect it.

There will always be someone who lays an expectation down at your feet. A circumstance to attend to, a phone call to answer, a text to reply, day to schedule, medical appointment to show up to, a chore to complete.

And the beautiful and often anxious-inducing truth is that you get to take a deep breath and decide what needs to get attended to and what is not going to serve you in the things you have to show up for.

This is an exercise in trust that there is just enough time for the things you are called for today. And for what you need to let go of in the process...there is grace for that too.

Touch the ground in the business of Autumn and say “There there, there is space and grace for you to do what you are called for in this season.”

Impala Pastel Fade Roller Skates | Zumiez

Considering my love for Figure Skating, I’m not sure why it took me this long to pick up roller skating. Albeit there is a learning curve to skating on wheels verses a blade, I am absolutely loving the challenge and getting such a joy out of these beautiful skates. During the pandemic I have missed skating on ice, which I am hoping to do more of this autumn/winter season, but knowing that I have a pair of rollers I can practice with during the winter months in my basement is giving me so much joy.

White Point Beach Resort Mug | White Point Beach Resort

After celebrating our first honeymoon, baby moon, reunion after time apart, our 10th anniversary and booking yet another family at this resort it only made sense that we would bring home mugs to remind ourselves at our desks of the moments we continue to share as a family at this beautiful place. We are head over heels for the days we spend at this place.

Lover Sweater | Poppy & Olive

I walked by this sweater on the outside sale rack and my heart instantly leapt. I rarely make impulse purchases, but when I do, it’s because something spoke to every part of me. This sweater sums me up in a nut shell.

Heart of the Wolf Necklace | Pyrrha

This beautiful necklace came into my awareness through a best friend who has come to know my ins and outs sometimes even better than myself. I had been eyeing her necklaces for months wondering about them and their meaning. A simple shy question turned into a huge deep dive into the Pyrrha website and finding one that was symbolic to me. Heart of the Wolf is symbolic of all that has been misunderstood about my own intelligence over the years and how much I have stepped into my own confidence of who I am and that my own strength does not mean I loose any part of my deep compassion and tenderness for those around me. I love that Pyrrha is a sustainable Canadian company and that their foundations is that from collective inspiration.

Malibu Rising | Taylor Jenkins Reid

Every summer an avid reader generally hopes to land a good ‘summer/beach read’. Malibu Rising delievers in every single way.
I thoroughly enjoy the descriptions of this novel along with the generational stories that get developed.

Over the summer I have been breaking a pilot episode of a new series.

The process has been equally grueling and surprising.

What started out as a simple limited series single character scope has turned into a dark and twisty tale with hooks and cliffhangers I never saw coming.

Personally, I’d like to blame my best friend.
She dangled an observation in front of me one night that had me reeling.

In fact, it had me reeling so much that the story took a 180-degree turn and has me going in a totally different direction with it.

What happens when everything you thought wasn’t what you thought at all?

A story for the ages and a story that may in fact rock my perspective for years to come.

For these write nights this coming season, I will be lighting a ‘candle’, pouring red, and letting a playlist move me into this tale.
Sometimes I may need to work from the couch, other nights I may need the privacy of my own writing room, either way…

it’s a delicious and equally nerve-wracking journey into a tale I was not expecting on weaving.

Centre - Clockwise: Elephant | Ikea, Snooze pyjamas | Joe Fresh, Explore Magazines | Kiwi Co, Sneakers | Softmoc, Blue Dress | Old Navy, Strawberry Dress | Second Hand find from Auntie Nicole, Brave sweater | H&M, Jean Shorts | Old Navy, Wild - T Shirt | Joe Fresh, Rainy Day Activity Book | Chapters, Colored Pencils | From various family members over the years, Bunny Sharperner | Easter Gift from Mimi, Eloise | Chapters, SwimSuit | H&M, Sandals | Joe Fresh

Having a slower start to the summer due to the whip lash from the third wave of the COVID-19 pandemic, it meant as a family we were still catching up with delayed spring celebrations and appointments during July. Yet, once August hit, not only was the weather full of sunshine, but also full of beautiful summer moments.

NEW TO HER

Elephant

On a whim when at IKEA without her in tow, we picked up this elephant and it absolutely made her day. We try our best not to clutter her life with toys that will become meaningless and opt to give her things through out the year she will need and keep the fun new toys for birthdays etc. But we are not above a rare whim purchase to surprise her with. Carefully placed on her bed to greet her when she arrived back home, this IKEA elephant was instantly named “Jhombo” and has become a staple in all of our lives.

Blue Dress

Purchased for a family photo shoot, this blue dress from Old Navy is the perfect staple for a young girl who loves dresses.

Sandals

Growing like a weed we opted to pick up a less expensive pair of sandals from Joe Fresh for her summer. They are practical, glittery and don’t break the bank.

STILL GOING STRONG

Brave Sweater

This sweater was a great addition to her wardrobe and is the perfect warmth for cool days, yet also just as loose fitting and easy for warm days that start off chilly.

WILD Graphic T

Various Graphic T’s. Pictured here is one graphic t, but there are a handful (about 4) others that are standing strong, still in good shape and still fitting. (I assume they didn’t make it in this pic because they were in the wash rotation.)

TIME TO GO

Swim Suit

The swim suit pictured here had its unfortunate last few wears over the summer. It’s in great shape, but our little spirit is growing like a weed. Time for a new one.

Various Socks

Not pictured here are the multitude of socks that got worn out, out grown or just lost in the mayhem over the last season. Seen here are the replacements for what was a very dwindling sock collection.

I found a leaf on the ground that had fallen last week. Red, bold and proud. It was the first of its kind in the path I had chosen.

It was brilliant, daring and a warning sign.

Autumn is coming.

A shiver went up my arms as I let it go and continued on my way.

This is the way Septembers often hit me.

A brilliant bright small sign that the ground is shifting, preparing and reading itself for a different type of growth.

Much happens beneath the soil after leaves have fallen. Healing, preparation and recovery occurs. Observations and space is made for the next round of growth.

This September I have been preparing space in my life, at my desk and in my soul for a new kind of work and lifestyle.

Space for creative exploration in dance, doodles and in the quiet moments of creating a life with the space I inhabit.

Space for intentional project development.

Working carefully on many smaller projects over the year has taught me that intentional meaningful work can happen when it is given the care, thought and space for discernment it needs.

I have been lit up like a candle with what it means to create connection, conversation, insight and moments for learning in the work I create and I am ready for more.

It’s easy to skim over our whims, ideas and passing thoughts, but there is something precious in the careful and slow honing in on what won’t leave the heart, mind and soul.

In many ways I am speeding up. Grabbing my seat belt and rushing to click it in place before everything starts revving up around me.

Yet,

Something I am learning is that when things are picking up pace,

that is the exact time to put ones hand on ones heart, plant one’s feet to the ground and close ones eyes to keep pace with the rhythm of what it means to be human.

I am not a machine.

I am a person.

I will stay grounded as I create, connect and commune.

I will stay paced with my heart beat despite the rush of life that is bound to create beauty and chaos around me.

I will dig my feet into the ground and stay true.

And I will dig deep into every moment.

Top Centre - Clockwise: Striped Dress | Banana Republic, Lover Sweater | Poppy & Olive, Loose stripped T-Shirt | The Gap, Blue Bikini | La Vie En Rose, Grey Romper | RW&Co, Starfish Keds | Softmoc, Coral T-Shirt Sweater | The Gap, Brown Purse | Modcloth, Malibu Rising | Chapters, Tkees Flip Flops | The Bay, Jean Shorts | The Gap, Pink / Cream Camis | Ambercrombie & Fitch, Perscription Sunglasses | All About Eyeware, Bridgerton | Amazon

Although this summer started out slow for us after a third lockdown pushing various spring events, our August was everything we needed it to be. Having time for a family vacation, celebrating 10 years married along with friends visiting and beach days, we are alight with what that rest that sank into our bones.

New to Me

Lover Sweater

This sweater is extremely thick, high quality and just altogether beautiful. I have always loved the word ‘lover’. I think it captures something I hold deeply inside myself and it has a way of propelling me forward.

Bikini Swimsuit

After 6 years of beach and pool days my tankini swimsuit bit the dust this summer and I was forced to do the dreaded task of finding another suit that I would like. I loved how my other set hugged my body in all the right spots. This Bikini gives me the coverage I want while also adding more style to my summers.

Flip Flops

I have been in desperate need of a pair of flipflops and was thankful for my moms birthday gift in these.

Coral Sweater T-Shirt

I am a bit lacking in clear ‘shirt’ options for the summer outings and this coral sweater t-shirt adds a fun option for beach days, or just around the house on a cool summer morning.

Still Going Strong

Blue/White Striped Dress

This stunning dress keeps giving me life. It feels like it captures all of me.

Starfish Keds

This pair has that worn appearance yet still holding shape.

Purse

I adore this purse I invested in a couple years ago. It is easy to bring on shopping days or just out and about on the weekends.

Time to Go

Jean Shorts

Not pictured here is a pair of jean shorts I bought and used exclusively as my ‘jean shorts’ for the summers. They were quite honestly falling apart. Off they go.

Blue Second Hand tank

Not pictured here is a second hand tank top I have been wearing for 4-5 years in summer and autumn months. It was never 100% me, but it did the trick when doing life with a toddler in tow. I am not wearing it anymore, so it’s time to donate it. Someone will appreciate it more than I am right now.

In no specific order:

Anne Lamott

Anne has this raw, real and compassionate way of putting words down for the reader to rest in. She has written books for writers and has also written books on all sorts of aspects of life.

12 Truths I learned from Life and Writing - Ted Talk

Books

Maya Angelou

Maya, although passed has words that echos beyond her lifetime. I read her book “I Know Why the Cagebird Sings” at a young age. Somewhere between the ages of 14-16 and I remember clearly how it changed my perspectives of the stories of others. After that I remembered to listen deeply whenever she appeared on the Oprah show or else where in the world.

Super Soul Sunday - Interview

I Know Why the Cagebird Sings - Book

Morgan Harper Nicols

Morgan’s words caught my attention years ago. Somewhere online, most likely on Pinterest I was saving her words as reminders during the darker times.

Art, Creativity & the Viral Poem - Interview

All Along You Were Blooming - Book

Mari Madrid

Mari and her husband dance. They dance differently than others. They create pieces that wreck me from the inside out in the best of ways.

She (freestyle) - Dance

Ethan Hawke

Ethan has been on his own personal creative journey for years and the maturity, growth and depth of creative insight that he speaks is something I greatly admire, want to hold onto and remember. He is also very clear in his reasons for focuses on what inspires him, rather than the ‘next shiny thing’ and all the struggles of personal thoughts that come with that.

Give Yourself Permission to Be Creative - Ted Talk

Don’t Fear the Struggle - Interview

Kalyn Nicholson

A Canadian Vlogger who has worked hard to create her own brand, community and content online while also finding ways to pivot and become more real, authentic and challenge herself to stay true to where she is at in the moment. I appreciate the shifts she allows herself to take and the documenting fun she still finds along the way.

Vlogs - Youtube

Amy Sherman Pallidino

Amy (along with her writing partner & husband Daniel) has delivered two shows that are beloved to me. Gilmore Girls & The Marvellous Mrs.Maisel. Amy is a vibrant style focused writer who has her own voice and style that creates multi-dimensional characters, worlds that are fun and finds ways to honour herself in the industry.

Don’t Be Afraid to Be Fired! - Interview

Comedy is Headed to a Very Dangerous Place - RoundTable

Brene Brown

Brene is by far one of the most impactful writers and researchers of our time. This woman takes all the aspects of what it means to be a human and helps breaks it down to show us how we can develop a healthier relationship with ourselves and with others.

The Power of Vulnerability - Brene Brown

Shame is Lethal - Interview

Jonna Jinton

This Scandinavian woman caught my eye a couple of years ago and I am just in awe of her creativity, spirit and ability to press on and find ways to honour herself and her work.

Vidoes - Youtube

The Life of an Artist - Vlog

White Point Beach Resort on a foggy morning.

To celebrate our 10th anniversary and to create memories, we spent the majority of a week at White Point Resort this summer. It was everything we needed and more.

The time as a couple to connect intentionally and romantically outside of the life we have been working hard for was healing and I am not unaware of what a huge privilege it is that we could set aside the time to make that happen.

It’s easy to think that we are capable of this endless wheel of meeting the needs of our jobs, our friends and family without those margin moments but it’s simply not true. If anything the pandemic has taught us, is that having ‘pause’ can create space for something altogether different.

Pause is scary.

Being alone, without the people, the hustle, the bustle is sometimes nerve wracking.

We have our lives so perfectly ordered to create the background noise just the way we like to hear it, but eventually that background noise becomes undelt with trauma, over worked, over wrought and simply a lack of peace soul with the way things are as they are.

This vacation felt like the rope I was so clearly trying to grasp and articulate.

I

CAN’T

DO

IT

ALL.

I

CAN’T

BE

THE

SOLUTION

TO

ANY

ONE

PERSONS

NEEDS.

I

WASN’T

MADE

TO

LIVE

OFF

OF

NOTHING

BUT

EXPECTATIONS

AND

SCHEDULES.

I

WAS

MADE

TO

FLY

AND

LAUGH.

*spoiler alert: this is no new news.

No one was made to fully fulfill another person.
We are individually born as whole and solo beings.

We can be blessings to each other.
We can be the refreshing rain on the soil of another spirit.

We cannot be the sun.
We cannot be expected to exist simply to glorify anything but the One who made us.

What does this mean?

It means we do our best to honour and work to hone the life we are called into.

If you are privileged enough to carve out time and space for you to exhale somewhere quiet, I hope you find yourself a little corner of a moment to sit and listen to the lifeline rope you are holding on to and listen to what it is saying.

These are the things we hear loud and clear, yet need the time to fully see what it is we have been aching over.

Have you ever considered that the best of you has yet to be discovered?

We like to think that we can dress ourselves up with our experiences, education and accolades.

That who we are is the sum of our success and ability to dust ourselves off after a string of errors and mischief.

That we possibly can just forge ahead and put the mess of our past behind us.

No burial service, no atonement, no rectification.

Just walking away from the mess and letting the scabs form where they are as we stagger on.

If this is you dear one, then I must urge you… sit down. You are leaving bodies in your wake, and the next one might be yours.

Here’s the thing,

We humans have so much to learn from the digging into our failures, our past and our wounds.

We will repeat what we don’t heal and we will find a new way to ripple affect the damage we haven’t dealt with.

Success is not how many times you are able to walk away from failure and press on.

Success is found within the healing process. How deep you go to find the cause of the wounds of your past and how you carve out time and space for new and more healing ways to continue on.

We like to act like we are above brokenness. That our ability to damage ourselves and others along the way by our own inability to see the next bump in the road is just a simple accident, but the truth is,

without your own self reflection, healing and ability to see that you are just as faulty as the next broken and lonely soul…

you will always pass judgement and assume to know the depths of another person’s pain.

You will continue to walk away from the messes you make, shrug your shoulders and suggest that there is nothing more you can do.

But there is.

Always.

More healing to be found in the cracks of you.

And maybe,

just maybe,

working on healing your own broken pieces will create the safe place for new healing somewhere else instead of the shards you leave in your wake that people will walk on.

Malibu Rising | Taylor Jenkins Reid

A captivating and descriptive tale of a family that grew up in Malibu. Spanning the timeline of two generations we get to see the beginnings and the fall out of a family. This novel delivers the beautiful landscape of Malibu, while also revealing the destructive nature of what it means to put all your hopes and dreams into one solitary ‘element’. Be that a person, a place or a thing.
The perfect summer read.

Bridgerton | The Duke & I | Julia Quinn

I picked this up out of interest of wanting to read the novel before watching the Shonda Rhimes series. With adaptations I am always interested in what was chosen to be included or not. This novel although slightly different than its television series which is more ‘based on the characters of’ gives its own beautiful and romantic punch. I adore the society columnist giving her take at the beginning of each chapter (which Julie Andrews does such a great job at in the series with her voice over), and I love the strong female characters who are very much within the restraints of their era but yet remain three dimensional within their roles.
Beautifully done.
It’s safe to say I will be continuing on with this series both on Netflix and in books.

Peter Pan and Wendy | J.M. Berry

J.M Berry’s writing has always been an inspiration to me. I believe I first read Peter Pan as a late teen and re-fell in love with the tale. Of course, some of the depictions are outdated, but when you move past that dated stereotypes and focus on everything else, you can see how perfectly wonderful a storyteller the man was. He breathed creative genius in so many ways. Words weaving in and out of the narrative, giving the reader something to hold on to. It’s no surprise that Peter Pan was first a play before a book. It’s words depict a fully visual and beautiful world.

The Next Right Thing | Emily P. Freeman

Emily has been a writer I have followed for years. Her podcast ‘The Next Right Thing’ a comfort during many a time, especially during the pandemic. That being said, it seemed sad that I had not yet read The Next Right Thing Book yet, so I have finally rectified that. If you are looking for a read that will give you permission to mindfully and intentionally process through your life and decisions, this is a perfect read.

In Film / Television

Dirty Dancing | because while in our cottage during vacation at night with our daughter asleep, this seemed like the perfect summer watch. It was. For me, summer air & dancing is the most delicious thing.
Bridgerton | because adaptations are my jam and this is no exception.